Life has so many eternal dilemmas. Virtue or vice? Beatles or Stones? Spit or swallow? But now there's a third possibility, at least when it comes to, uh, cum: you could also save it in a small container and use it in your next dinner recipe. A Cooking with Semen class could be coming (yeah, yeah, we know) to London within the next few months, but amateur chefs shouldn't start stockpiling that special ingredient just yet.
The class is being launched through Wonderush, a self-described "lifestyle subscription service" that allows users to find and sign up for classes based on their interests, including everything from artisan pasta making to Harry Potter wizarding walks to yoga, yoga, and yoga.
"The class came about as we got to thinking of ways to highlight the unique—though somewhat tamer—classes and experiences you can do through the site," Wonderush founder Nelson Sivalingam told MUNCHIES. "When we saw the public reaction to Great British Bake Off's move to Channel 4, we got to thinking about food classes, and the rest is jizztory. (Sorry)."
Those who would like to participate are encouraged to bring at least five teaspoons of semen, which will become the unifying ingredient for a three-course menu that includes chicken with a spicy jerk sauce (no, really), a salted caramel dessert, and both alcoholic and non-alcoholic cocktails. Sex educator Alix Fox, who has offered her enthusiastic support of the class, says that, for best results, the semen should be fresh squeezed.
"While the idea of bringing cum into the kitchen will [doubtlessly] appall many people, some individuals find the idea of consuming such an intimate substance an incredible turn-on," Fox said in a statement.
Wonderush says that it will provide the full details for the class—including the date, location, and name of the chef who will lead the instruction—if 30 people sign up to participate. "If we get the numbers, it will absolutely go ahead, but as far as I know, we haven't hit it yet," Sivalingam said. "Maybe people are waiting for the weekend to sign up?"
The final lines on Wonderush's website say that the class was "conceived...in a bid to showcase the many unique experiences cities around the UK will enjoy when the service launches in other cities." That does make us wonder whether it's just an R-rated stunt to promote the site's services, but we won't know until—or if—that class goes on. Until then, we'll pass on the jerk chicken, thanks.