Remembering That Time on 'Divorce Court' When a Woman Complained that Her Husband's Incredible Cooking Made Her Fat

Chief among Rashida's grievances were that her husband said “I love you” too much—more than twice a week—and that he cooked delicious meals for her too often.

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Feb 14 2017, 10:00pm

Today, as you're hopefully not learning for the first time, is Valentine's Day. And on this day, we'd like to look back and remember the man who ultimately taught us what real love is all about.

Of course, we're talking about T.P. Lucas, the plaintiff on the very best episode of Divorce Court of all time.

In this historic case of incredible reality television and its accompanying life lessons, our man T.P. takes his soon-to-be ex-wife Rashida to court hoping the judge will compel her to return his Toyota Camry—pretty well-trodden ground for DC. But things get seriously bonkers—and fast—when Judge Lynn Toller asks what broke up their marriage.

Apparently, T.P. was just too nice to his wife. Chief among her grievances were that he said "I love you" too much—more than twice a week, according to Rashida—and that he was such a good cook, and cooked delicious meals for her so often, that she ended up gaining weight.

READ MORE: Man Tells His Girlfriend Her Pasta Is 'OK', Hours-Long Police Standoff Ensues

If this all sounds familiar, you may have seen the viral video that ensued when some visionary took the clip of Rashida complaining about her husband's too-good cooking and reintroduced it to social in short form. You probably remember this quote from Rashida on the daily hell that was living with her husband:

"The man can cook. Brother can throw down. But I mean, he cooked four course meals for breakfast, lunch, dinner. Two o'clock in the morning, if I was hungry he wouldn't fix me a sandwich—this man would make a whole meatloaf, potatoes and gravy, vegetables, a big stupid cup of Kool-Aid. I'd go to sleep right on that food and then get up in the morning and he done fixed French toast, pancakes, grits, biscuits, so now I'm laying on food on top of the food I just laid on a couple of hours ago."

Y'all wanna be treated like queens but still ain't satisfied #valentinesday

A video posted by Nochillvines (nochill.tv) (@nochillvines) on

But it's really worth watching the whole episode; the judge's reactions throughout are perfect, and there's so much more to the story we can't get into here, including a bizarre subplot about Rashida being a secret standup comedian.

And did we mention that T.P.—like love itself— is blind? At one point the Judge even has to take Rashida to task for making fun of T.P. for not being able to see. And Judge Toller is in fine form: snapping with abandon and even breaking her own rule against calling people stupid.

Hopefully this won't spoil anything, but it's pretty obvious early on who is going to get their day in court. Let's just say the whole endeavor should put an end to all that "nice guys finish last" bullshit.

Even without a lot of psychoanalysis, it's hard to imagine that Rashida has much happiness in her future if she can't love a man who loves making her meatloaf. But on days like today, it's nice to picture T.P. out there somewhere, telling his new partner that he loves her as many times as he pleases, laying on course after course of biscuits and gravy, and smiling as he eagerly proffers that big, stupid Valentine's Day cup of Kool-Aid.