To all the daddies reading this: it's not you. Sorry!
The good folks at the Katmai National Park Service in Alaska have been hard at work pitting the park's bears against each other in a competition where people voted on the fattest bear caught on camera. On Tuesday, they announced the fattest bear, and man, he's pretty fat.
Otis is the fattest bear at Katmai. Nice work, Otis.
The Katamai National Park Service told us in a message that "he's around 1,000 pounds, however that is only a vague estimate." He's a big boy! The biggest boy, in fact.
In a video posted to Facebook by the park service on Tuesday announcing the big fatty's victory it's snowing, which is why the bears have been bulking up. According to the presenter, volunteer David Kopshever, Otis the brown bear gained between 30 and 50 percent of his original body weight over the summer. But how did he do it? What is his secret for such a bodacious bod?
"He's a zen master, Otis, he sits there and waits for the fish to come to him and he doesn't expend any energy unnecessarily," Kopshever said. The rangers witnessed Otis eating 40 fish in a day, he said. Also, Otis is old as hell, like, probably about as old as a bear can get—around 19 or 20 years old. He's also missing two teeth.
This bear knows how to live. Also, how to survive.
"This is really good for his survival. In the wintertime, when they're hibernating, bears aren't going to eat a single thing so they need to eat 12 months worth of food in six months," said Kopshever.
They say it's better to die young and leave a beautiful corpse. But I think Otis has it right that it's pretty chill just to sleep a lot and be fat.
UPDATE 10/19: This article has been updated with Otis's weight of "around 1,000 pounds."