Golfing with Your Friends and Mine, PooperScooper420 and boOb

Maybe the hole-in-ones were the friends we made along the way.

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Feb 16 2017, 8:00pm
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All screenshots and .gifs courtesy of Drainpuppet.

Last week, my girlfriend sent me a gift on Steam, Blacklight Interactive's Golf With Your Friends, an early access game that I'd probably never think to pick up on my own. When I think of early access, I think of issues, whether they be with graphics, controls, or anything else, we've all experienced them with games not quite ready for release.

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In Golf With Your Friends, I certainly had some problems. Butterflies flying backwards, my golf ball glitching through what looked like a glob of jello—or getting stuck in the hole without letting me score—but they didn't really bother me. The game's super-simple mechanics and multiplayer functionality was enough to keep me playing, and keep me coming back. Also, being able to customize my ball to be shaped like a star or egg is pretty cool.

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Golf With Your Friends has five courses, Forest, Oasis, Haunted, Twilight, and Candyland (which only existed in the "experimental" beta version until recently). You've got the option to host a lobby or join a lobby, and it can be private with password protection or public for anyone to join. My personal preference is private and password protected, so I can play with the same three people I play games with every week, but one note—lobby names are public regardless of how they're set up.

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Guess which one is mine? 

Sorting lobbies by private, password protected, and currently in-game is very helpful, considering the overwhelming amount of ridiculously offensive lobby names. When it came to joining public lobbies though, you know I had to go with the really gross ones. You can't just see "WeEatButt" and NOT join. This is where I saw some of my favorite names, PooperScooper420 and boOb. And yes, my in-game name was Got A Big Round Wet McMuffin, inspired by the hit single (and one of Patrick's favorite songs), "Shawty Wanna Fuck."

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Luckily there's no voice option in Golf With Your Friends, because the chat dialogue is pretty much the same as any other online multiplayer game, except it's about golf, which makes it a little funnier. One minute I'd get an encouraging message telling me which way to aim, and the next the whole chat would get asked who was a virgin. You know, normal online multiplayer chat.

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The courses remind me of some fucked-up fantasy dream, and it's rad. It makes up for not being able to just get up and go play mini golf with my friends. I may not be the best at getting hole-in-ones, birdies, or even par, but I'm pretty good at bouncing an egg-shaped ball off a donut and launching it into space.