Lattes and Leather Whips at Portland's New BDSM-Themed Coffee Shop

If you're looking for the bathroom, you might not want to try that door.

Already known for its coffee shops, the city of Portland, Oregon is gaining yet another one—and this one is keenly interested in getting to know you. The Moonfyre Café, inspired by a dominatrix with barista tendencies, is about to open its doors and let you live out your wildest fantasies. For some of you, that may mean sipping on a quality latte while munching on a moist muffin. For others, it means kinky sex with knowledgeable staff on hand, fixated on evaluating and enhancing your performance.

"Let us sit down and teach you why Fifty Shades of Grey is not the proper way to do this," exclaims Mistress Pixie Fyre, the mastermind behind the cafe.

And though it might seem unusual to order a sex coach at a coffee shop, you'll be in good hands here. Fyre, a self-proclaimed "FemDomme" and victims' advocate, is highly practiced in culling some pistachio out of the vanilla. And with the opening of The Moonfyre Café, Portland's BDSM scene finally has a place to call home.

Fyre initially entered the PDX BDSM scene by hosting workshops like the Portland Leather Alliance, which attracted a sizeable following. And with surging interest, it became evident that the group needed a larger space.

Fyre, catapulted with community support, has since procured the capital to buy her own space, conveniently located in the middle of a hotbed of strip clubs, porn shops, and lingerie stores.

"We have a three-room structure," Fyre says. "We have big open windows and a café in front. Then, through double doors, we have our education space with furniture [that's] easy to move so that we can host speakers and workshops. And finally, if you want to really go down the rabbit hole, we have our play space. However, we're not a freak show: the play space is separate and private."

Oh, and there will also be a gift shop. Here, you can feast your eyes (presumably along with your mouth) on some fine locally curated, artisan BDSM toys.

Consenting customers can frolic harmoniously in the play space among the likes of spanking benches, massage tables (including clamps), an entire medical room dedicated to blood and needle play, and even an iron mummy cage. There will even be a display of vintage medical supplies, which serve no sexual purpose at all aside from adding a pinch of nostalgia.

The play space's true strength is derived from just how encompassing it is for even the most diverse, or atypical, members of the kink community.

"People into puppy play can be locked into a large kennel," says Fyre. "We can put your drink in a dog or cat bowl. For some people, this is sexual; and for others, it's cathartic because either way, your brain will go on a chemical journey from all the excitement."

As for the front room, Fyre assures me that the cafe portion of Moonfyre will still have a classic coffee shop feel, true to the Pacific Northwest. With big open windows, the cafe will see the light of day while others won't.

It's worth noting that during my interview with Fyre, her "slave" waited patiently at a nearby table. Strangely enough, this didn't even seem weird. Perhaps Portland itself should also take some credit in getting this project off the ground.

"I moved to Portland five years ago, and the community here is so huge: swingers, polyamorists, other non-monogamists," says Fyre. "I had visited Wicked Grounds in San Francisco, and I thought to myself, This is so Portland! I call Portland my diamond because there are so many facets of sex culture here."

It's worth noting that the Moonfyre Café is not a brothel. Staff members will be handing you cappuccinos, disinfectants, and gloves, but not a helping hand. The cafe will be supporting sex workers—not giving them work. Of course, they'll still receive discounts.

"We want sex workers to stop by on their lunch breaks," explains Fyre. "We are also excited to present job opportunities and educational outreach for the trans community. They shouldn't be stuck in call centres."

Call centres, no. Iron mummy cages? Maybe, if that's their thing. And in case you were wondering, you can expect a cleanup crew.

"We encourage safe sex," assures Fyre. "Whatever partners want to do—and how far they want to go—is up to them."

Finally, a café where you are sure to finish whatever you order.