At first glance, the house at 10 Melory Crescent is nothing but beautiful: a gorgeous five-bedroom, two-bath mansion on a lush, green expanse of property in Adelaide, Australia. Its high-ceilinged rooms are lavishly decorated; the pool built into the stone veranda in the backyard is idyllic; the richly stained wood floors are a homeowner's dream. But as you cycle through photos of the house, moving from the outside to the foyer, into the dining room, down towards the basement, things begin to get—well, it's hard to explain. You really just need to see this for yourself:
Yes: This otherwise normal-looking home contains a hellish dungeon world in its cellar, replete with terrifying, witch-like dolls; vaguely Satanic masks; and at least one clown, which is almost certainly haunted.
When the listing for the property first surfaced, questions abounded: From what kind of terrifying hellmouth did these dolls arise? How many innocent people have died at their hands? What do the walls of this cellar know—what horrors have they witnessed, and what ancient secrets do they hold?
The answer, it turns out, is actually pretty innocent—at least allegedly. Anthony Toop, the real estate agent selling the property, told VICE that the mansion is owned by the Pannell family, who've lived there since 1977. The patriarch of the family died, and his widow has since moved into a retirement home—but for years, making these horrifying creatures was a passion project of hers, apparently.
"This cellar filled with all the items was her hobby," Toop said. "The elderly owner/wife made all of these items you see and she used to have lots of kids parties and fun events with the family, neighbors, and with friends."
I'm not sure what kind of child would have "fun" playing with a horned, demonic beast in a giant black cloak, a roomful of nightmare-inducing witches with fucked-up eyes, or a clown that looks possessed by Satan himself, but hey, maybe some kids are into that! (Let's not forget the boy from The Babadook.) As the listing warns, the house is "not for the faint hearted" and is a den of "mystery and intrigue," which, you know, sort of goes without saying.
"Brave people only," it reads. "Leave the kids at home or keep them supervised. Watch the steps."
If you're in the market for a $1.5 million AUD house with a potentially haunted cellar filled with some of the most cursed objects this world has ever seen, congratulations: Looks like you've found your dream home. If you're looking for something a little less scary, and a little more, uh, romantic, there's always the Sex House.
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