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An Accidentally Horny Father’s Day Gift Guide

Just because he's your dad doesn't mean you should call him daddy.

by Jamie Lee Curtis Taete
Jun 15 2018, 7:35pm

Sex stuff is crazily expensive.

A beginner's bondage kit will set you back around $100. Fleshlights start at around $70. Dildos—an approximation of a penis, an organ that's worth, at most, $5—cost at least $50.

If you’re into something really freaky, you’re even more out of luck. Those alien dick dick dildos that lay eggs inside your body are over $150, fucking machines cost hundreds and hundreds of dollars, and those suits that furries wear run into the thousands (Links NSFW.)

But luckily, from Hitachi Magic Wands to Bussy Wafers, perverts have a real talent for corrupting things that were created with pure intentions. Every Father’s Day, hundreds of inadvertently horny products are unleashed upon the world, available for next to nothing at your local chain store.

Here’s some of the best from this year:

Card available at Target, $7.99.

Screencap via Walmart.com

You might have a little trouble squeezing into this one, but it's available at Walmart, $11.99.

Shirt available at Kmart, $7.95.

Screencap via hallmark.com

Picture frame available at Hallmark, $15.95.

Card available at Kmart, $3.99.

Glass available at Hallmark, $19.95.

Hat available at Target, $14.

Screencap via kmart.com

Harness and leash available at Kmart $184.18.

This isn't actually a Father's Day item. But it's available at Disneyland, $9.95.

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Tagged:
LGBTQ
Father's Day
gift guides
Daddies