The Riot Bug Is Spreading

With flames in Yemen, planes over Libya, protests in Europe, and a global generation defining itself as one of disobedience, it was only a matter of time before the western youth followed suit. By rioting at the DFA showcase in SXSW, they've burnt their reputation as listless sheeple, forcing a billion cultural commentators to gobble their words.

The signs were there last year when they rioted outside an American Apparel in London having grown frustrated with the corporate agenda of a promotion disguised as a half-price jumble sale. However, it took their forefathers, the trucker-capped parents to their style, DFA 1979 to reappear Like Aun Sang Su Chi from house arrest, for the mood to turn truly septic. But where next for the western youth protests?

Q: Why are they angry?

A: Like the self-immolation of Tunisian fruit-seller Mohammed Bouazizi, the DFA shutout was merely the straw that has broken this particular camel’s back. Their grievances have in fact been brewing for years, but it is the use of social networks and mobile technology that has enabled them to co-ordinate as never before. Since the AmAppy riot of 2009 was cruelly suppressed by forces loyal to Gordon Brown, youth frustration has been a pressure cooker waiting to explode. They blame a lack of good quality jobs in TV presenting, and the ongoing scarcity of internships at decent record labels for much of their present woe.  They have been effectively shut out of the economy: nearly two-thirds of all property and wealth is in the hands of the so-called ‘Boomers’, to whom they are often forced to turn for starter-home deposits, at the punitive price of emotional blackmail. Calls for large-scale societal redistribution (as epitomised in their rallying cry “Well why don’t you just hurry up and die so I can inherit it then?”) have so far fallen on deaf ears.

Q: Where will the protests spread to next?

A: Difficult to say.  Reports suggest that the Californian town of Coachella could be the next major flashpoint. It is scheduled to be the site of a major sermon by the self-declared 'renegade preacher' Win Butler at the end of next month.

Q: How long can Western governments continue to ignore the will of the youth?

A: They seem determined to dig in, despite the SXSW riot/massacre effectively invalidating their legitimacy. President Obama, for instance, has been the target of several satirical memes in recent months, including ‘NOPE’ and ‘OH BUMMER…’, but despite these has clung onto the White House, (though he is reputed to be on his way to Venezuela). Likewise, the discredited regime of David Cameron has been shaken by the ongoing taunts that his deputy-leader, the widely-reviled Nick Clegg, is ‘turning blue’, but he continues to keep Britain in his vicelike grip of liberal social-democracy.

Q: Will the Egyptian and Tunisian governments get involved to support the protesters?

A: It is unlikely. Ever since the Egypto-Tunisian invasion of Utah in 2003, the two countries have been keen to improve relations with the region by not being seen to meddle in its affairs.

Q: What about Panda Bear?

A: He is said to be making an underground bunker out of Brian Wilson records.

Q: What is the slogan the protesters keep chanting?

A: “Kickin’ in the front seat. Sittin’ in the back seat. Gotta make my mind up. Which seat can I take?”

DICKIE TUMMY

More photos from the night here.