Slamming the Spam

GIF by Sean Godsey

The following correspondence is from a manuscript of emails by Fred Sasaki. Subjects arise from spam and angst, anger and absurdity, frustration and fuck all—Eros and Thanatos from inbox to inbox. Enter to witness nonconsensual collaborative narrative.

[Aside from changing the name and redacting the email of the party involved, we have left the following messages unedited in the interest of full disclosure and larfs—Ed.]

Just Sharing Information with You (One time email)
21 messages

From: Rodrigo Ruiz           
To: Rodrigo Ruiz
Date: Thu, Mar 7, 2013 at 5:10 PM
Subject: Just Sharing Information with You (One time email)

Just Sharing this information with you. “That’s it.”

This is also a ONE TIME EMAIL.

You will not receive another one from me.

“Unless you request more information of course.”

If you have any kind of business please check this out.

And if you don’t, check it out even more.

You never know, it could change the direction

Of your business.. I understand, you don’t have to believe me.

Just find out for yourself Find Out More Here

Or go to my website and Watch the Video there.

Website: http://xxx.xxx.com/

Enter your email and watch a Video with all the information.

Also take the time to watch the full video… It’s worth it.

God Bless you.

The Frustrated California Dad

-Rodrigo Ruiz

(I will Stay Frustrated Until I Make 100K p/month)

________________________

From: Fred Sasaki
To: Rodrigo Ruiz
Date: Mon, Mar 11, 2013 at 1:23 PM
Subject: Re: Just Sharing Information with You (One time email)

I have the business. Do you want some?

Fred Sasaki

________________________

From: Rodrigo       
To: Fred Sasaki
Date: Mon, Mar 11, 2013 at 2:12 PM
Subject: Re: Just Sharing Information with You (One time email)

This means that you have a great business and you are asking me if I want to join your business?

What kind of business do you have Sir?

You know, even though I’m committed to only one thing ([redacted] Network) I always tell people to keep their options open to whatever help them and their families…

But if you don’t commit to one then you will not commit to 2.

Let me know

Rodrigo Ruiz

________________________

From: Fred Sasaki
To: Rodrigo Ruiz
Date: Tue, Mar 12, 2013 at 11:57 AM
Subject: Re: Just Sharing Information with You (One time email)

Hi Rodrigo,

Thank you very much for your compliment. I have a great business to share with you. In fact let us already say we are working together in a mutual collaboration. We will be famous is my idea. Mostly me, but you too by the way. My business is the writing business but also the fame business. I don't even need to be famous for a long long time, but it would be best if it lasted for my entire life and perhaps for my children and their children. After that I don't really care.

I think that [redacted] Network can help us tremendously so. And I should tell you that one day I too will be a Frustrated California Dad if I ever move there. For now I will be Frustrated Chicago Illinois Dad. It is about sex and money. The fame will take care of both.

We are committed. What kind of writing do you do? I want to make sure it doesn't interfere with mine.

Thank you for this joint venture ship.

Fred

________________________

From: Rodrigo Ruiz           
To: Fred Sasaki
Date: Tue, Mar 12, 2013 at 6:43 PM
Subject: Re: Just Sharing Information with You (One time email)

Hey Fred, that is awesome… I will stay frustrated and uncomfortable until I make 100k p/month.

My [redacted] Network strategy is Technology.. I write about technology a lot because that’s what I know. I’m a systems administrator myself and so I know a lot of that stuff.

It’s great to find people like you.

I hope one day both of see each other somewhere in this world.

Enjoy live and be unique.. That’s the key to success. I know you know.

Regards

The Frustrated California Dad

-Rodrigo

________________________

From: Fred Sasaki
To: Rodrigo Ruiz
Date: Wed, Mar 13, 2013 at 9:47 AM
Subject: Re: Just Sharing Information with You (One time email)

Hi Rodrigo,

Together we will make millions! We will make it very much. When we come together, we are no longer frustrated fathers. Our wives and children will be surprised and happy. Sometimes this makes me put words together like slappy. Once I said glappy. I am not kidding! These my friend are not merely million-dollar words but pricless. You can't make this stuff up.

My writing is also about technology. We have the technology. In my fingers. And thumbs. I am using my thumbs to type this right now. Human thumbs were made for punching the fist. First it was for getting pregnant and now it is for everything. It is for 100k/month! (p/month btw means "per per month." That one is for free. Bill me as they say!)

It is great to find you also. My long lost father of frustration.

When do you want to get together?

Frustrated Fred

________________________

From: Rodrigo Ruiz           
To: Fred Sasaki
Date: Wed, Mar 13, 2013 at 3:19 PM
Subject: Re: Just Sharing Information with You (One time email)

what's your [redacted] Network link.. Let me check out your work.. I bet is crazy uh? ahhaha I'm glad you are always on fire..

That's great dude.

The Frustrated California Dad

-Rodrigo Ruiz

________________________

From: Fred Sasaki
To: Rodrigo Ruiz
Date: Wed, Mar 13, 2013 at 3:21 PM
Subject: Re: Just Sharing Information with You (One time email)

Rodrigo,

It is just me. I like to laugh sometimes too. lol.

How much am I getting paid for this? You can just pay me by check or Paypal to fredsasaki@gmail.com.

Thanks,

Fred

________________________

From: Fred Sasaki
To: Rodrigo Ruiz
Date: Thu, Mar 14, 2013 at 11:02 AM
Subject: Re: Just Sharing Information with You (One time email)

Rodrigo what? Do you need my invoice or something?

Thanks,

Fred

________________________

From: Rodrigo Ruiz           
To: Fred Sasaki
Date: Thu, Mar 14, 2013 at 12:15 PM
Subject: Re: Just Sharing Information with You (One time email)

What invoice?

________________________

From: Fred Sasaki
To: Rodrigo Ruiz
Date: Thu, Mar 14, 2013 at 12:25 PM
Subject: Re: Just Sharing Information with You (One time email)

For my work with you. We never discussed how much I will be paid for my writing. Time is money and talent is priceless as they say.

Fred

________________________

From: Rodrigo Ruiz           
To: Fred Sasaki
Date: Thu, Mar 14, 2013 at 12:48 PM
Subject: Re: Just Sharing Information with You (One time email)

I thought you were part of [redacted] network already.. sorry for the miss understanding…

How much do you charge for a 500 word article?

Rodrigo

________________________

From: Fred Sasaki
To: Rodrigo Ruiz
Date: Thu, Mar 14, 2013 at 12:50 PM
Subject: Re: Just Sharing Information with You (One time email)

My standard is $250. But you can pay me more and I will give you more of myself.

________________________

From: Rodrigo Ruiz           
To: Fred Sasaki
Date: Thu, Mar 14, 2013 at 1:24 PM
Subject: Re: Just Sharing Information with You (One time email)

sorry for the miss understanding Fred… I have someone in India writing for me already.

Thanks anyways.

Rodrigo

________________________

From: Fred Sasaki
To: Rodrigo Ruiz
Date: Thu, Mar 14, 2013 at 3:02 PM
Subject: Re: Just Sharing Information with You (One time email)

OK but I do expect to be paid for my writing so far. That's why I asked if you want my invoice or can you just pay me via Paypal.

Thanks.

Fred

________________________

From: Rodrigo Ruiz
To: Fred Sasaki
Date: Thu, Mar 14, 2013 at 4:00 PM

Subject: Re: Just Sharing Information with You (One time email)

what writing?

I din't receive anything from you?

________________________

From: Fred Sasaki
To: Rodrigo Ruiz
Date: Fri, Mar 15, 2013 at 8:07 PM

Subject: Re: Just Sharing Information with You (One time email)

Rodrigo Ruiz, are you trying to tell me you have been reading invisible e-mails? My writing is art and fiction and nonfiction and some people even will call it poetry. I make a performance for you. You appreciate when it is going good then when it is time to pony up, your become a goose.

So far there is 1,365 words that have been written one way or another. A thousand and a day, as they say. According to my fee that is $750.00 This is not pony stakes, even if they are. I don't know about you but I am not one to shake my hot dog at that.

Who is this Indian? Does he or she etc. even speak English?! I am not a beauty for you to outsource. My mind is not a computer!

Please resolve this issue immediately!

Fred

________________________

From: Fred Sasaki
To: Rodrigo Ruiz
Date: Sun, Mar 17, 2013 at 11:24 PM
Subject: Re: Just Sharing Information with You (One time email)

Rodrigo,

What do you not work on the weekend? I am always working. Every day Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. Maybe that is why you are frustrated and poor? What do you tell your children for your laziness?!

Look, I don't want to point many more fingers but let us resolve this man to man. Father to father. Frustration to frustration. Money to me.

Fred

________________________

From: Rodrigo Ruiz           
To: Fred Sasaki
Date: Mon, Mar 18, 2013 at 12:03 AM
Subject: Re: Just Sharing Information with You (One time email)

Sure, lets fix this.. Send me your phone number, lets talk.

But make sure you have all the work and proof that you delivered to me and

also the proof that I requested and approved to receive work from you.

i have mine.

we'll fix this.

Rodrigo.

and also email me you REAL email address, I need to remove you from my list.

I have a tone of people and you are the only person doing this. That's why I will fix this.

________________________

From: Fred Sasaki
To: Rodrigo Ruiz
Date: Mon, Mar 18, 2013 at 1:03 AM
Subject: Re: Just Sharing Information with You (One time email)

OK good. My consultation fee is $2.49/minute with a ten-minute minimum. You can purchase minutes prices too. Please choose and we will continue working together.

Thank you for understanding,

Fred

Minutes            Prices

10 minutes       $24.90

15 minutes       $37.35

20 minutes       $49.80

25 minutes       $62.25

30 minutes       $74.70

45 minutes       $112.05

GOLD

60 minutes       $145.26

PLATINUM

120 minutest    $274.38

________________________

From: Rodrigo Ruiz           
To: Fred Sasaki
Date: Mon, Mar 18, 2013 at 8:54 AM
Subject: Re: Just Sharing Information with You (One time email)

I don't see your phone number anywhere..

I don't do business with people I don't talk to.

Rodrigo

________________________

From: Fred Sasaki
To: Rodrigo Ruiz
Date: Mon, Mar 18, 2013 at 10:02 AM
Subject: Re: Just Sharing Information with You (One time email)

Me too. Don't worry.

Do you want to talk minute to minute ($2.49/minute) or would you like to purchase minutes prices? I need to know before you call me so I can either set up my timer or just make an alarm setting for longer time. We can also do unlimited but that is really really expensive for you. Then I will give you my number. What is your area code? For additional expense I can also call you directly and personally. No interruptions.

My writing you have already seen? I don't understand what you mean? Do you want me to print out my writing and send it to you? You already have it and have read it so I don't know what you are talking about. Please be more clear.

Sometimes I am very misunderstood. As myself, as someone else, then there is the personal misunderstanding. Who am I? That is funny but not at all. I tell people that everyone is a stranger because you cannot really ever know another person. No matter how much intimacy or sex you have with them. Even your mother or father. The point is I think not to worry too much about who you are or what other people think about you. Maybe even a little confusion is good and I mean that just like how you think.

I DO NOT to webcam OK?

Fred

________________________

From: Fred Sasaki
To: Rodrigo Ruiz
Date: Mon, Mar 18, 2013 at 1:30 PM
Subject: Re: Just Sharing Information with You (One time email)

OK. If you really want to webcam I can for a lot more money actually. I just prefer not to. It is bad for my image, no pun intended.

Let me know. My schedule is filling up.

Fred

________________________

From: Fred Sasaki
To: Rodrigo Ruiz
Date: Tue, Mar 19, 2013 at 7:12 AM
Subject: Re: Just Sharing Information with You (One time email)

Rodrigo hello?!

Previously:

Fred Sasaki's Sticker Proposal for the City of Chicago

The Fred Sasaki Ultimate Fund

An Email Correspondence with the Sierra Club: Sponsor My Run Around the World