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Noisey

30 Bands That Would Be Cooler than Macaulay Culkin’s Pizza-Themed Velvet Underground Cover Band

We can make up random internet bands too.

by Dan Ozzi
Dec 9 2013, 4:05pm

Last week, word got out that notable former child who famously put aftershave on his face once, Macaulay Culkin, was working on a band that covered Velvet Underground songs but with a pizza theme. The completely random assortment of Macaulay Culkin + Velvet Underground + pizza was like an equation for instant Facebook sharability. It was one kitten gif or doge meme away from exploding the internet. It was like someone had a giant board of random internet things they were throwing three darts at. Since we’d like to get in on the action, here are a few other bands we came up with that we’d like to see happen for internet purposes.

1. Cuba Gooding Jr. fronts the Supremes but the Supremes are three cupcakes.

2. An Eminem-themed emo revival band fronted by Sarah Palin.

3. A kitten who looks like Katy Perry reading the works of Shakespeare.

4. Six 90-year-old retired World War II veterans covering the songs from Kidz Bop.

5. James Franco turns BuzzFeed’s least popular listicles into soy-based reggaeton songs.

6. The Olsen Twins wear Daft Punk masks but play GWAR songs about epic fails.

7. Clint Eastwood and his empty chair in a doo wop Fugazi cover band. (The chair is Guy. Clint is Ian.)

8. Donald Trump in a Baha Men-influenced ska band about bacon.

9. Robert Englund (the guy who played Freddy Krueger) eats meatball subs for 30 straight minutes set to Radiohead’s OK Computer.

10. Mike Tyson and a zebra dress as Tegan and Sara and play Motorhead songs.

11. George Takei plays drums in an all-Ringo Beatles look-alike band with Tourette’s syndrome.

12. Nick Lachey replaces lyrics from Talking Heads’ Remain in Light with reasons why he fucking loves science.

13. The kid who could see dead people in The Sixth Sense plays trombone in a gif-themed military marching band.

14. Four members of the American Olympic swim team play top 40 hits on instruments made of Amanda Palmer’s body hair.

15. William Shatner and Kermit the Frog read Trapped in the Closet novelizations over garage beats.

16. The kid from Problem Child recites Walking Dead spoilers set to Television’s Marquee Moon.

17. Five guys who run Will Ferrell parody Twitter accounts reenact the Kennedy assassination set to the Gin Blossoms song, “Hey Jealousy.”

18. Your Uncle Fred does Borat impressions over Wu-Tang Clan’s 36 Chambers.

19. Some crustpunks in front of McDonald’s sing Prince songs in all hashtags.

20. The cast of Sharknado plays in a Bon Iver parody band about Ronald Reagan's pubes.

21. Ryan Gosling sings sad alt-country songs about missing the Twitter fail whale.

22. Dave Chappelle as Rick James in a screamo band that sings about Grumpy Cat.

23. CM Punk and John Cena in a riot grrrl band about how great Rebecca Black is.

24. 200 pregnant women in Joy Division shirts sing songs about breakfast at the top of their lungs.

25. The cast of The Big Bang Theory make Vines of Mobb Deep songs as anime characters.

26. Kenny Powers reads comments from Huffington Post articles over Lorde songs.

27. Macklemore in an all Albino mariachi band about Game of Thrones.

28. Random Grindr users dress as juggalos and sing Vampire Weekend songs.

29. Joy Behar as a Girl Talk-style mashup DJ using clips from Wes Anderson and Michael Bay movie trailers.

30. Christopher Walken does the Harlem Shake in various churches burned down by black metal bands.