What Musicians Were Wearing and Sharing on Instagram This Week 6/14

So listen, I’m like three episodes into binge-watching Orange Is The New Black, and I just lifted my head real quick to write this fucking column so you better be thankful this week. I have ten more episodes to go, so let me get to this week’s Instagram selections so we can all go back to watching Piper and Alex hate-fuck for 55 minutes.

This is the exact era of how I choose to remember Lil’ Kim when I think of her, and I’m glad to see Miley shares that sentiment. Not a single photo in this colorful collage was taken after Y2K, so um…yeah.

So apparently Rich Homie Quan gets super pensive when he’s sitting at Barnes & Noble. That’s cool. I tend to do the same thing when I’m walking around the Self Help section, and when I make eye contact with someone I act like I got lost headed to Fiction or some shit.

Ew Justin Timberlake is already becoming douchey golf dad. “Just doing some tequila shots with my broskis before we hit some balls on the greens while the wife is at home breastfeeding my spawn.” Is that what golfers say? Balls on the greens? I don’t speak #sports.

I’m so pissed 2 Chainz named his dog Trappy. I would’ve loved to name my dog Trappy. Her name is Indie instead and she’s a Yorkie so survey says she’s the exact opposite of Trappy. This dog right here looks like he’s hella tired from flippin’ bricks out the bando.

Poor Meek. RIP Snupe. No snark here, just feeling sad to see Meek still mourning the loss of his friend two years later. By the way, hip-hop lost another good guy this week. Rest in peace, Pumpkinhead.

This is Beysus Christ on her recliner throne giving the opposite of fucks for all you lunatics who took off work this week to hear her discuss how much she enjoys eating vegetables and quinoa. You deserved that one. Hope you still have jobs, losers.

Bieber is out here putting Beliebers on blast failing to realize that these poor girls are now marked by other Beliebers who may pull some jealous Tonya Harding shit if they see them in these streets. Smooth move, JB.

Ew who the hell hangs out with the guy from Creed?! Come on, Joey. You’re better than this. What’s next? Water polo with that guy from Nickelback? Shuffleboard with Lifehouse?

Rick Ross may have lost a ton of weight, but he’s still managed to fit all of Egypt on his back. #Rossfit

Okay when you’re showing your fans your new haircut, don’t take a selfie in a room with dim lights, Britney. That’s a rookie mistake in Insta-ville. Furthermore this looks like she cut her own hair. Again.

I literally just sat on my bed for the last half hour eating chocolate and grapes like I was Caligula, and here goes Ellie posting this shit. Brb off to eat my feelings some more.

Call me crazy, but the last thing I want to purchase is something called “Snoop Dogg Bush.” And like, what does “bush” have to do with his G-Pen? “Come on guys, let’s go smoke some Snoop Dogg Bush!” I don’t get it. Sounds like an episode of Oz. [Ed. note: Snoop's Bush is pretty dank, low key.]

I’m not sure which scenario is worse: Diplo naming himself after grease cleaner or a grease cleaning company naming themselves after Diplo.

This is me when my threading lady takes that month off every year to visit her family in India.

Taylor, what the fuck are “swan goals”? I wish you would just shut up so I can consistently enjoy you. Sidebar: Hi Calvin…

Kathy Iandoli won’t surface again until she’s completed Season 3 of Orange Is The New Black. Follow her on Twitter @kath3000