Music by VICE

"Never Enough Time, Never Enough Sleep, Never Enough Van Halen": More Tour Wisdom From Torche

"When we loaded in, owner told us, 'Haha, I've seen way less talented bands show up with way bigger trailers.' I'll take that compliment."

by Noisey Staff
Mar 20 2015, 4:28pm

With Restarter still ringing in the public's ears, Torche is knee-deep in their US tour with NOTHING and WRONG, and things are getting weird. Guitarist Andrew Elstner can take it from here....

March 10th, 2015.
Houston at Fitzgerald's. Always a killer show, always super-friendly and hospitable staff. Vietnamese and then late-night Greek food after the show, on a Monday? Theo's in Houston. Outstanding. Server was so on top of his game, pretty certain he was doing the Devil's Dander. En route to Austin, Vietnamese again, and why the hell not?


March 11th, 2015.
Killer show in Austin last night. My iPhone took a shit, upgraded to 5s. How stoked are you guys for me?
Tour-tired setting in hugely.
I can't remember the exact David Lee Roth quote about being tour-tired, maybe he called it "terminal exhaustion"? Sounds right. It's a tired that does not go away once it gets you and I mean never, not even off the road. It permanently alters your sleep habits. In searching for the DLR quote I wanted on this topic, I stumbled on an AV Club review of his autobiography, Crazy From The Heat. Very well-written, but ferociously unfun and smeared with frail, modern sensibilities. I have no patience for the new era of Puritanism that is currently upon us. Ohhhh no way!! DLR was obnoxious and egotistical?!? Dude, like, mind blown! David Lee Roth is totally insane, but, he's also the greatest rock frontman of all time and if you read between the lines, you discover the man is an absolute genius. I'm being 100% sincere. Haters gonna hate, especially when they're fucking boring. To each their sensitive own, I suppose.

We're currently in Dallas at Club Dada. Acoustic dude across the street is singing "Santeria." That song is a disease. I should put something here about Thor Harris' "touring makes everyone bipolar." Well, it does. Bipolar, disoriented, cranky, anti-social, all that fun stuff.

After the show, a case of beer we had stashed in the back of the van—in a paper grocery bag—tore open during load out. Steve stacked them neatly on the curb, then a homeless dude collected 'em all. I'm not here to judge, just reporting what I saw. Waste not, want not. I mean, if I found a random case of various Guinness and IPA cans, I would not be bummed, no matter my station.

Welcome to the Hi-Tone

March 12th, 2015.
On our way to Memphis to play the Hi-Tone. Running late as usual and it's raining, naturally. Thank Zeus for the new trailer.
Other than the clowny genius of DLR, another longtime hero of mine is Herman Hesse. Steppenwolf is one of my all time faves and I find the the following quote to be extremely relevant to us touring types, men and women.
"Men of every kind have their characteristics, their features, their virtues, their vices and their deadly sins. Prowling about at night was one of the Steppenwolf's favorite tendencies. The morning was a wretched time of day for him. He feared it and it never brought him any good. On no morning of his life had he ever been in good spirits not done any good before midday, nor ever had a happy idea, nor devised any pleasure for himself or for others. By degrees during the afternoon he warmed and became alive, and only towards evening, on his good days, was he productive, active and sometimes, aglow with joy." Herman overflows with edifying truth.

Show at the Hi-Tone was nuts. Super unhinged, beer-throwing, mic-grabbing, stage-diving crowd. Crazy blast! Loaded out in the rain though, which was super cool. Side note, when we loaded in, owner told us, "Haha, I've seen way less talented bands show up with way bigger trailers." I'll take that compliment.

March 13th, 2015.
St. Louis went off super well. Being my hometown, it's always overwhelming to see so many people I know in one room—family, friends, never enough time to say hey to everyone. Local faves Hell Night opened the show and properly crushed.
Never enough time, never enough sleep, never enough coffee, never enough Van Halen.

Soundcheck in St. Louis

March 14th, 2015.
Chicago was a crazy good time, sold-out show. The Empty Bottle always treats the bands so well. The boys in Nothing have fierce, young livers. Holy SHIT. Still having a blast with all our tour mates, no blow-ups, no major defeats. Knock on wood! Vietnamese food continues to dominate our food scene. No complaints from me.

March 15th, 2015.
Currently in Milwaukee at the Cactus Club, where the show is also slated to sell out (it did). Very lucky to have the respect of these venues and promoters. We are truly spoiled with the relative ease of it all and I feel awesome to have earned the perspective to appreciate it. The northern Midwest is currently thawing out from a hard winter, all the sidewalks are a mess of rock salt and uncollected dog shit. Still though, nice warm breeze. Can't complain.

March 16th, 2015.
Rolled to Columbus, OH where we'll soon be playing at Skully's. Had a pre-show interview with Piper from, and was hands-down my favorite interview ever. Way more interesting questions that got right to the point. Super charming. Loved it!

Torche with Piper of

Note: In Columbus, OH while pulling up to get oil changed, owner came up to Rick and said, "Oh, I thought you were my power washer. Haha."
Now I wanna know what made him think this. Was it the van full of dudes? Our trailer? Or was he speaking in code? "Power wash"? Hmmm....

WRONG at Skully's

Catch Torche on tour:

tour diary