Umpires are like armadillo men. You put their little armored-selves out into nature, and you're not too worried about them. Eagles, hawks, coyotes. Not a problem. Occasionally, you have to worry about a semi running them over, but they're pretty well set otherwise. But every now and then, something finds its way through the chinks in their armor, and it's crippling.
Take, for example, this failed bunt by Dodger Joc Pederson at the Padres. It grazes the underside of his bat, and takes a little hop-bounce into Mr. Ump's undercarriage. You know, his juggle pups? No? I'm talking about the man's Cadbury creamers—his value pack, his fig twins, his dew drops. Still don't know what I mean? Ok, fine. His testicles. Happy? He got hit in the testicles, and man did it look like it hurt. Godspeed, armadillo man. Godspeed.