A List of Bands You're Not Allowed to Like Anymore Since "Alternative" Became a Bad Word
Say goodbye to the Red Hot Chili Peppers and their hit song "Last Resort."
"Alt" has been a super-useful descriptor for 90s teens and MTV programming (again, only in the 90s) so it's sad to see that the word has been co-opted by the "alt-right" white nationalist movement and the neologism "alternative facts," coined by Trump counselor Kellyanne Conway. These things are both extremely terrible, so we at Noisey have decreed that anyone who has ever been "alt" is heretofore bad as well. We realize that this includes many beloved artists and bands which have been categorized under the "alternative" umbrella because there's an alt for everything. This list will include not just alt-rock, but alt-country, alt-rap, alt-metal, alt-folk, and anything else that's ever been indie. Sorry, but them's the breaks. So, here's everyone on the blacklist so far.
Honestly, all the grunge bands, because they all sound like this.
Perry Farrell coined the term "alternative nation" so we can include Porno for Pyros in here too.
More like ashes of un-American flags.
Leave 'em in the woods.
Name says it all.
Who told these Brits they could mock OUR grunge music?
Have kept Jimmy Fallon afloat. Why.
The original "alternative metal" band, so out ya go.
The machines already took over, guys. Too late.
Did music for Objectivist manifesto Fight Club, responsible for self-serving bros everywhere.
Unclear message due to overuse of hums.
Riot grrl? Sounds unconstitutional.
Canadians are unaware of all things happening outside of Canada.
Queens of the Stone Age
Stone Age! Backwards! Definitely Republican.
This band made "Wonderwall" AND "Bittersweet Symphony." Pick one ballad!
Alternative rock and alternative rap. Double points on Scrabble.
A guy so nationalistic he made two albums about boring-ass states.
French? Not in OUR country.
Crooked rain, crooked raaaaain. Man, RIP Prince.
Isn't this just Wilco before they were good? Still counts as another band.
Lots of Soviet-era influence in artwork. May be victims of Russian hacks.
Broken Social Scene
See above on Canadians. Also, too many band members! They'll take our jobs.
Red Hot Chili Peppers
I love "Smooth Criminal."
Nine Inch Nails
Imperial measurements, tsk tsk.
Anything we premiere on this website
Because we ourselves are alternative, apparently.
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