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The VICE Morning Bulletin

Tonya Couch, Carrot Top impersonator and mother of the 'Affluenza Teen,' has been deported from Mexico, Denver issued a recall of 100,000 weed edibles, and Brussels has canceled its New Year's fireworks amid fears of a terrorist attack.

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US News

Mom of 'Affluenza Teen' Deported

Carrot Top impersonator and world's worst mom Tonya Couch, who helped her son Ethan flee to Mexico, has been deported and brought through Los Angeles International Airport in handcuffs. Ethan will likely remain in Mexico for several weeks, after hiring a lawyer in the country to help fight extradition. - USA Today

Bill Cosby's Legal Woes Begin

The comedian has been freed on a $1 million bond after being charged with sexually assaulting Andrea Constand. The case will center on pills Cosby gave Constand, which he claims were herbal. The charges carry the threat of five to 10 years in prison. - The Washington Post

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Utah Fails to Block Planned Parenthood Funds

The Court of Appeals has granted Planned Parenthood an injunction to stop Utah's state government from defunding the organization. Planned Parenthood in Utah will now appeal an attempt by Governor Gary Herbert to block federal funds going to the organization. - Fox 13 Salt Lake City

Almost 100,000 Weed Edibles Recalled

Denver issued its biggest-ever recall of marijuana products, involving 99,574 packages of weed-laced edibles. Mountain High Suckers recalled packages of its suckers, lozenges, and candy over concerns about potentially dangerous pesticide. - The Denver Channel

International News

Suicide Bombers Attack Kurds

Twin suicide bombings hit two restaurants in the Kurdish-controlled city of Qamishli in Syria, killing or wounding dozens of people. The Kurdish YPG militia said they were most likely carried out by the Islamic State, which the YPG is fighting in northeast Syria. - Reuters

Nigeria Ready to Talk to Boko Haram

President Muhammadu Buhari has said his government is prepared to negotiate over 200 kidnapped girls, but only if the militant group can identify "credible leadership." Boko Haram snatched the girls from dormitories in the town of Chibok in 2014. - BBC News

Iraq Threatens Turkey

Iraq's foreign minister says that if Turkey does not withdraw troops from Iraq's northern region, military action could be used. Ibrahim al-Jaafari said his government was committed to diplomacy, but added: "If we are forced to fight… we are forced to fight." - Al Jazeera

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Brussels Cancels New Year Fireworks

The Belgian capital's New Year's Eve fireworks display has been cancelled by authorities, who fear a terrorist attack in the city. Authorities in Paris are shortening a light show at the Arc de Triomphe and cancelling a firework display to keep down crowds. - The Guardian

Everything Else

Belgian Cops Investigated for Alleged Fuckfest

Officials are trying to figure out whether or not eight soldiers had crazy wild sex with two police officers in the aftermath of the Paris terror attacks. Alcohol is believed to have been involved at the alleged police dorm romp. - VICE

Obama Meets Seinfeld, Disses World Leaders

The latest Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee sees Jerry Seinfeld riding around with POTUS in the president's limo. When asked how many world leaders are out of their minds, Obama said "a pretty sizeable percentage." - The Independent

So These Annoying Phrases Got Banned

Michigan's Lake Superior State University has released a list of words and phrases now banished from campus. They include "walk it back," "break the internet," and starting a sentence with "so" for no good reason. - The Detroit News

Motherfucking Rat on a Motherfucking Plane

An Air India flight from Mumbai to London was forced to turn back after a rat was spotted in the passenger cabin. The aircraft was fumigated but the rodent wasn't found. - The Times of India

You're Most Likely to Die on New Year's Day

A major buzzkill ahead of a holiday, but research shows January 1 is the day you're most likely to die of natural causes. Car crash fatalities increase, but so do less predictable things like cardiac diseases and cancer death. - VICE

The 11 Sci-Fi Films That Defined 2015

The big themes that bubbled up in the bumper crop of sci-fi movies—artificial intelligence, transgender rights, income inequality—tell us a lot about our immediate future. - Motherboard