'Watchmen' Finally Told Us Who Lube Man Really Was

The most pressing question of the show has been answered.
December 16, 2019, 5:18pm
screenshot via HBO

The Watchmen season finale (and possible series finale, unless Damon Lindelof eats another egg of inspiration or whatever) aired Sunday night on HBO, and it was a flawless ending for a flawless show. Lindelof somehow managed to wrap up just about all the various loose ends without resorting to long, exposition-heavy scenes, Keene's last monologue aside—and the show even earned that one with that Bob-Benson-in-Doctor-Manhattan-underwear sight gag.

But there was one question still left unanswered by the time Angela Abar became the Eggman and the credits rolled; a final, important piece of the puzzle destined to linger in sleepless nights and subreddits for years to come: Namely, who was the weird, lubed-up superhero who slid into the sewer that one time?

Now, thanks to HBO's Watchmen companion site, Peteypedia, the secret of Lube Man's true identity revealed.

Over the course of the last season, Peteypedia has been posting auxiliary details and information about the world of HBO's Watchmen as fictional case files from FBI agent Dale Petey, not unlike the excerpts from Under the Hood from the original graphic novel. Earlier entries gave us the history of Sister Night and insights into the aftermath of the psychic squid attack in New York.

But Sunday's latest piece, written as a faux-memo from the FBI deputy director about Dale Petey's firing, finally gives us the Lube Man scoop we so desperately wanted. He was, uh, probably Petey himself, all along! The memo doesn't say it directly, but it certainly paints a clear picture. It says that Petey is clearly "at risk for vigilante behavior" and is likely staying in Tulsa after being relieved of his duties "to continue the investigation despite our closing it." Which, sure, yeah, we knew that Petey had some superhero dreams ever since he brought that little mask on the plane, but here's the final piece that cements the Lube Man story:

A maintenance crew will be boxing up the contents of Petey’s office later this afternoon. Anyone interested in taking anything from the stacks of media, ephemera, and straight-up junk cluttering his workspace—multiple copies of Rorschach’s Journal, hundreds of "comic" books (why our society is still so obsessed with pirates is beyond me) and a jug of what appears to be some kind of canola oil, help yourselves.

Yes, a big jug of canola oil. What more proof do you need?

OK, to be fair, this isn't a full confirmation that Dale Petey is, in fact, sliding around the sewer system in his spare time like a preternaturally flexible Ninja Turtle, but it's at least heavily hinted at. And what else were you expecting after that finale ending, anyway? In all likelihood, this is the closest we'll get to learning who is under that slippery silver mask, unless HBO decides to launch a Lube Man spinoff, House of the Dragon style. Until then, give the memo a read over on Peteypedia and draw your own conclusions.