"You take 600 mg of cocaine. Your body filters out 40 percent per hour. How high are you in three hours?"
Ninth graders are an unruly bunch, more prone to playing Candy Crush than actually paying attention in class. So in an apparent attempt to get a roomful of freshmen students' attention, one teacher in Illinois hit them with a set of math problems he hoped might finally pique their interest in algebra.
"You take 600 mg of cocaine," he scribbled on the board. "Your body filters out 40 percent per hour. How high are you in three hours?"
The impromptu lesson even included some real-world financial planning, teaching the kids how to factor in interest if they need their dealer to front them a sack.
"Unfortunately, you can't pay your dealer, so she sets up a payment," the teacher wrote. "You owe her $1,000 at 25 percent daily. How much do you owe one year later?"
"We don't need to be teaching children how long it takes to filter cocaine out of their bodies. That is ridiculous," parent Christy Scott told KMOV. "We should be preventing this and not teaching them how to get rid of it."
The school sent out a letter apologizing for Wednesday's lesson plan, and promised that it was "taking the necessary measures to ensure that the damage is repaired."
"Unfortunately, unacceptable examples were used in a high school math class causing some parent and student distress," the school wrote in a statement. "The faculty member has apologized to students and parents for this lapse in judgment and has reiterated the intent was never to promote or make light of illicit drug use."
"The teacher sent out an email explaining that some of the kids were in la la land, so he used an example that would grab their attention," one parent wrote on Facebook. "His example didn’t glorify, promote, or condone cocaine use. I wish some parents cared more about their kids learning math (arguably the most important subject taught in school) than finding new ways to be offended."
It's not entirely clear whether or not the teacher will be fired for his creative lecture. But when you think about some of the wildly inappropriate shit teachers have done in class, Wednesday's ordeal doesn't seem all that bad. It's not like the guy was openly doing coke in front of his students in class or anything.
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