When a vegan couple gets married, one of their biggest concerns has to be the menu for the reception. Do they go all-in and all-vegan? Even the wedding experts don’t always agree about that one. Michelle Cehn, a PETA staffer and vegan cookbook author told Martha Stewart Weddings that weddings are a great opportunity for the couple to “wow their guests” with a delicious vegan meal.
But Brides magazine suggests either including one non-vegan entree to try to please omnivore invitees, or letting everyone know in advance that they’re in for an evening of nut milks and assorted grains. And The Knot gives an enthusiastic ‘yes’ to putting one non-veggie meal on the menu, especially if your meat-eating future in-laws or parents are paying for it.
But all three publications—and literally everyone else on the planet—would probably agree that what a vegan bride-to-be shouldn’t do is un-invite her entire family by telling them that they’re murderers who are no longer welcome at her wedding.
This unidentified 20-year-old woman wrote a now-deleted Facebook post in a group called VEGAN REVOLUTION (they’re the ones who went hard on the caps lock), presumably looking for support. “When ‘family’ tries to guilt trip you into letting them come to your fully vegan wedding, even though they are omnivores,” she wrote. “Just for some context, some family members were told they are not invited to my wedding because we don’t want to host murderers at our wedding which is supposed to be one of the happiest days of our lives.”
According to news.com.au, most of the Facebook commenters didn’t agree with her decision to go Vegan Thanos on her guest list. It was then posted on Reddit’s r/insanepeoplefacebook subreddit, where she was enthusiastically derided. (And the post ultimately had to be locked due to “personal attacks.”)
Not content to, you know, reconsider or just stop talking, she added some additional details. “They have consistently attacked me and my partner just for being vegan,” she wrote. “When I broke the news to them, all I got was attacked because I don’t want the weight of having people that still kill animals (the very beings we are trying to protect) at my wedding on my conscience [...] I’m sorry if that makes me ‘rude’ or a ‘b**ch’ because I’m not compromising the ethics that I share with everyone here.”
A Redditor named u/Lockraemono posted a number of screenshots, because she was in a Facebook group where the bride’s post “blew up.” One bridesmaid confirmed that she had been uninvited because she wasn’t vegan—even though she’s related to the bride. (The bride’s mother was also told not to attend, sooo…)
The same bridesmaid said that the bride has called her family “toxic” and accused them of “bullying and attacking her” because of her vegan diet. “Like no the fuck we didn’t, bitch,” the bridesmaid wrote. “Literally none of her family have bullied her for being vegan. All this because we refuse to make the vegan lifelong commitment.”
And although the bridesmaid said that the woman’s family was “happy to be vegan for the day,” it’s that ‘for the day’ part which seems to have made the bride go bonkers. “My partner and I won’t feel comfortable having omnivores there as we know they will just go back to eating meat the same day, if not the next day,” she wrote.
“Got married in November and it was completely vegan,” u/LordMitchimus commented on the Reddit thread. “We had candy, pie, coffee, tea, and non-dairy creamer [...] Nobody complained. It's good food. We wanted to celebrate our marriage while remaining true to our lifestyle. Banning non-vegans is insane and belongs on this sub. I just wanted to clarify the person is insane and not the ideology.”
Another added, “$100 says she complains when the people she banned from the wedding don't get her a gift.” If any of those “murderers” still want to get her something, maybe something by Emily Post would be a good place to start.