The Hangover News

Ravenous Earth
THE SINKHOLE THAT SWALLOWED A MAN IN FLORIDA IS GETTING BIGGER
Which means no one's been able to go and look for him because they don't want to die

A search for Jeff Bush, a man who was swallowed by a sinkhole under his home in Tampa, Florida, has been called off after the rescue team concluded that the hole was likely to keep on growing and could make the house collapse in on them while they carried out their search.

Teams continued to test the unstable ground around the home, evacuated two neighbouring houses and began pulling apart the building in an effort to save some of the belongings inside.

Jeremy Bush, who had initially tried to save his brother, left flowers and a stuffed lamb by the house over the weekend, which is kind of confusing but obviously bore some kind of relevance to the siblings.

Florida is prone to sinkholes, with most of the state sitting on top of limestone, a porous rock that easily dissolves in water.

You'd have thought city planners would have learnt to reinforce the foundations of houses after the first couple disappeared into the earth forever, but I guess that's just not a priority in Tampa.

Broken Promises
CHILDREN ARE STILL BEING STRIP-SEARCHED IN CUSTODY DESPITE PROMISES TO STOP
There have been 43,000 strip-searches in the space of 21 months, so it doesn't sound like anyone's trying too hard

A promise to end routine strip-searches of children in custody is being broken, after data revealed that 43,000 incidents have been recorded over the last 21 months, some involving children as young as 12.

Two years ago, the Youth Justice Board announced that the strip-searching of incarcerated children would stop, but 43,000 cases sounds a little off the mark when you're trying to define the idea of stopping.

Of those 43,000 searches – 48 percent of which were on children from black and minority ethnic communities – only 275 brought up any illicit items.

After the report was made public, a spokesman for the Ministry of Justice claimed, "Full searches will only take place when it is necessary and there is a clear justification or identified risk."

Let's just assume those 43,000 cases were totally, 100 percent justified.

Lacklustre Team Spirit
THE EDL MARCH IN MANCHESTER WAS A COMPLETE WASHOUT
Apparently the Bernard Mannings of British politics don't want to stop embarrassing themselves

After a meagre turnout of around 30 people at last month's Cambridge march, the EDL managed to drum up just about enough people to match the 300 police officers deployed to monitor the group's latest "national gathering".

A counter-demonstration by left-wing group United Against Fascism (UAF) ended up drawing in a bigger crowd, which was probably all kinds of troubling, confusing and incensing for the group of St George's-clad Islamophobes.

In fact, two of the day's three arrests stemmed from EDL members throwing coins and bottles at a UAF protester who was waving a banner that read "Nazi Scum"; the other was a woman who climbed on top of a police van.

After achieving literally nothing but ridicule, onlookers later reported seeing several fights break out between different factions of the EDL.

So, all in all, it seems little is changing in the EDL's quest to go out in a blaze of painfully embarrassing, racist public piss-ups.

Police Justice
THE POLICE OFFICER WHO SMASHED UP A DISABLED PENSIONER'S CAR IS GETTING A SIX FIGURE PAYOUT
He couldn't put up with his colleagues teasing him about it so he quit his job

(via)

PC Mike Baillon – the star of a viral video in 2009 that showed him smashing the car window of a disabled pensioner while his colleague kicked in the windscreen – is in line for a six-figure payout after winning an employment tribunal.

The bizarre attack came after the two police officers spotted 74-year-old Robert Whatley not wearing his seatbelt and pursued him for 17 minutes, which the pensioner supposedly thought was a friendly police car escorting him home, not two overly aggressive, truncheon-happy men with no grip on the phrase "appropriate response".

Baillon claimed he was forced to resign after his colleagues subjected him to a "bullying campaign", goading him and writing comments on his locker.

The panel at the tribunal is yet to decide how much compensation Baillon will receive, but it's likely to run into six figures to cover lost earnings and pension entitlements.

It's very unlikely that anyone else will be fighting Baillon's corner, unless they're comfortable with publicly endorsing men who violently harass disabled pensioners being awarded thousands of pounds of the taxpayer's money because they can't handle a bit of teasing.

Public Apologies
THE MAYOR OF OAKLAND HAD TO APOLOGISE AFTER PROMOTING A LOCK-PICKING COURSE
Which isn't really what residents want after a 40 percent spike in crime last year

Jean Quan, the Mayor of Oakland, has had to apologise after an advert for a class teaching citizens how to pick locks appeared in her newsletter.

Given the fact that the city in California suffered a 40 percent jump in burglaries last year, the news that the city council were actively promoting classes on how to break into houses obviously didn't go down too well.

Lock-pick kits are legal to buy in California and the people behind the class claim the lessons were there to teach people who'd been locked out of their house how to get back in.

But all press is clearly good press, because apparently the weekend's lock-picking class was completely sold out.