Below is the second installment of Tao Lin and Giancarlo DiTrapano's texting history that began during the summer of 2011 with the infamous, ground-breaking "Andrew," which has been hailed as both "total shit" and "the best internet writing of 2011." Some texts were altered to save the reputations of the peripherally involved parties.Jun 28 2011Giancarlo: The past 6 times I have texted 'Andrew' he responds with "RE:|Okay" Seems like a DealerBotTao: He's evolving, seems promisingG: lol
G: Here's to another year of invincibly polite texting. Perhaps, if we live to see it, a 2012 VICE post.Jun 29G: That last text had a devilish quality to it. I only mean well.T: Nice lighting in that pic…nice…working on our sweet ass collage tomorrow.
T: Next year's post can just be us discussing it for a year. A year's worth of texts like this text I'm typing now.G: Yes. Also peppered with life and more kindness. Seems like mostly negative comments so far. I wonder if we will still be texting for drugs this time next year. Hope so.T: Just reread most of it and felt 'engrossed,' seems so sweet. Posting on FB now.G: The piece is indomitable. Excited to see if our extreme politeness cues the commenters to also be extremely polite. Would be sweet if our kindness caused the commenters to be filled with love and to only post kindness-related thoughts.T: Could be a turning point for Vice. That would be sweet.Jul 1G: Just thought, "this post seems like we are Andrew's apostles, spreading his Word of kindness"T: Or seeding the Vice demographic for him to expand his drug empire into.G: The same job. We bring His word, and His word is drugs.T: We should've included a coupon for people to print out and redeem with Andrew at the end of the piece. Or written "this post is a sponsored by Andrew."G: Lol. Would have been sweet. Write it in the comments. Sweet.Jul 2G: From comments: "I STILL can't tell if this is real or not. Will somebody PLEASE answer me? I just want to (k)now if this is real or not! PLEASE!" lolJul 4G: Oh shit, I missed your birthday! Happy Birthday, Tao! Feel like I failed on continuing to be thoughtful and kind. :( damnT: You redeemed yourself with this kind, humble, repentant text, I feel. Hate 4th of July…so loud everywhere…Jul 5G: Sweet. I feel whole again, and at peace.Jul 7T: Would you or your friend mind calling or texting eric please? He wants confirmation from you or your friend that i'm ok. I could give you some ritalin for your troubles… - T
T: Sorry for all this trouble, will give you the Ritalin I get - meG: Should be cool now
G: Let me know if there is still a problem.T: Thank youG: No sweatJul 14G: Sup dude, seems distant, seems we should chill, seems better for us (and everyone else), might be chill to chill soon, let's like, bbq but on drugs maybeT: I'm down. BBQMDMA.Aug 15G: Fucking sweet man about book. Very happy. :)T: Sweet, thank you. =]G: Sorry I've been off radar. Just being self-involved to no good end. Let's chill soon man. Mumblecore is like my new 16 Candles. #:)-..T: Hey, just got this. Sweet re 16 Candles. Chill soon, yes. About to sleep ~12 hours, good night.G: Sweet. At this reading in crown heights or something. Seems weird. A girl just read a story with over 100 characters in it. Awful.G: Good night!Aug 22G: Hey Tao. You looking for shrooms by chance?Sep 10G: Hey dude. Going to any of these lit parties?Oct 20G: Hey man! You dj'ing that thing tomorrow with Dent May? Sweet, if so. Will be there with the nightmare shrooms.T: Yeah I am. I just used more of those last night, so good. If you have an oxy or perc I'll trade you an addy 30 tomorrow night.G: Sweet. I will try to have. See you tomorrow! :)T: Sw$$t =)Oct 21T: You around, want to eat?G: What time you playing? Got a 30 OC to aid in inspiration
G: Damn. You just sent me that?? Whoa
G: I was mid-text when that came throughT: Yeah sweet. I don't know at all, I'm right by it, have addy for you. Damn/sweet.G: I'm still downtown. Heading over by 12 for sure.T: SweetG: SweetNov 5G: Shrooms are back in. Just text that you're looking for Mario.T: SweeetG: Hey I was misinformed. The guy came by my place and had been saving two bags for someone who flaked. So they were for sale. I bought both if you want one. Don't think they have more.T: Oh damn. I'd really like to buy one from you, thank you. Oh damn.G: That's why I got two.T: Sweet. God bless you…G: No problemNov 11T: Sweet. In a hotel in rural Georgia. About to chug an energy drink and 'jack off.'G: lol
G: Does the energy drink increase the pleasure of the jack sesh? I never tried. Adderall makes me beat off like a madman.T: It does, I feel. More blood flow. Addy actually makes me hornier but harder to get/remain hard.G: Yeah, same with coke. But that doesn't stop me. I'll pull on it either way. Like a madman.T: Me too. Me too…G: I asked Blake in that interview how many times he'd jacked in a row. He said four hours. I had a bunch of coke one time and jacked it looking at porn for over 24 hours. The whole time thinking to myself, "This is when you begin to lose your mind."T: Jesus…my record is probably ~2.5 hours but happens kinda often. I always feel good about it, seems like good exercise.G: It's like, intense focus.T: It's probably as good or better than meditation for one's well-being. Someone should do a study. Meditation seems like…utterly no exercise.G: I've always wondered if I could sit still, not touch my dick, and be able to come just by thinking. If the mind and body does it during "wet dreams" then it's possible. I doubt I could ever do it, though it would be sweet to have that kind of controlXXXXXXXXXX picked us up today for distribution. Been applying for two years.T: I think I actually did something like that while on mushrooms & rubbing a girl's clit. I felt like I was rubbing my own clit or something, but didn't fully come.
T: Oh sweet, Baumann should get on The Colbert Report.G: He should. Hopefully he'll be in some sweet big movie between now and pub date. Or I could keep postponing pub date until he is in something really big.T: Make it like a 12" x 12" size hardcover with his face on both front and back.G: I think we are going to try and make it look all Tiger Beat teen idol magazine looking. With like bright colors and big letters. Maybe new title too: The Secret Life of Ken Baumann
G: With him on the cover like on one knee with his arms folded over the other in a '80s beastie boy pose.
G: Shooting stars and thingsT: Sounds sweet. With pictures of him randomly throughout. And a center-fold thing.G: Exactly.T: I'm going to tweet then masturbate now. Good night. Will text soon when back in NYC.G: Dude. We should have Vice pay to send us to south America to do this stuff for VBS.TV. Im sick of writing for the blog. We must advance in the ranks http://70.32.109.64/takeaways/ayahuasca
G: Goodnight. I'll hold those shrooms for you til you get back.T: That sounds sweet. If not that then something else. Will look into this. Thanks re shrooms. Gnight.T: Whole FoodsG: Seems deliciousDec 13T: Eating dinner at Lodge w Bebe ZEVA & Leigh & other ppl, would be sweet if you came, 930, 318 grandG: Can't man. Doing an interview thing for Paris ReviewT: SweetG: thanks thoT: NpG: Block awayDec 14G: That was seriously funny. Good job. Was bummed you didn't sing Pale Blue Eyes. Thanks for the plug.T: Owe it all to Xanax. Thanks for your morale support. Felt sweet plugging NY Tyrant. Food tastes so good on Xanax, I'm eating cream in library.G: Lol. You should do as many talk shows as possible. It's a good medium for you I think.
G: Who are those hosts though? I couldn't find one interesting thing that they said.T: It's fun as long as I'm on drugs. I have no idea, just really old peopleT: SweeeEeEeEEtDec 23T: Party tonightG: Don't know. In FLAT: DamnJan 19 2012G: "Hello hi this is andrew. Thats is my new number. and happy new year thanks"T: Lol got that also. Trying to get in on our free promotion for him probablyG: Lol We should read his new number out during the reading. 'updated'T: We should get him to deliver during the reading then when he comes inside be like "here he is!" as make ppl get his autograph or buy from himG: YES! For real.
G: Gonna ask himT: He could make like $2000 off a small sales potentiallyG: ExactlyJan 21G: Hey man. Where should we meet?
G: Just woke upT: Here
T: Called StillwaterJan 22G: Had a nice memorable time tonight. I don't know why but I always open up to you somehow. Hope it's not annoying. Hope you stop throwing up.T: Had a nice night also. Not annoying at all, really interested in hearing all that. Going to email uploaded video tonightG: Sweeeeet
G: Had shrooms in my jacket pocket all day, went through airport security with them, now I may eat them on the beach and give thanksJan 23T: Glad you don't get arrested. Just remembered vomiting in the bag you gave me then abandoning it outside somewhere…lol, thanks again for the bagG: You are a stealth vomiterJan 27G: Hey. Monday is my birthday and might have some people meet at a bar in east village if you're freeT: Happy bday. I'm free and will comeG: Cool. Not sure where, will update when I know. Got some powdered MDMA tonight too. Gonna have that Monday.T: Sweet. I still have the Jonathan GF "double dose" capsuleG: Oh damn. I think I had too many other things in me that night to feel it. Felt it a little. Seemed nice. Going to invite Jonathan and his girl.T: If I win the lottery this weekend I'll pour a bucket of MDMA on your head in celebrationG: Lol
G: May you win everything in the worldJan 28G: Hey. So I guess we're going to Nowhere Bar on Monday, after 10. You met me there before.T: Sweet. See you then.G: SweetJan 29G: Just met another completely different Andrew. Same number. Never seen him before. Asked me about books. Im so high on MDMA. LolT: Jesus…probably just wants in on next year's "year of texts…."G: Lol totally. He wants the fame
G: He's tired of living a life of drug world anonymityT: We should start our own drug dealing thing next yearG: Publish books from profits, like lit gangsters, would be fucking chillT: Get writing residencies at Yaddo and use the time to figure out how to make our own MDMAG: Show up to Yaddo with a truckload of chemicals and haz-mat suits "We'll need our food delivered once a day, and no interruptions please."
G: Hey man. Change of venue. Now at Bedlam on Ave C. There is some weird party at Nowhere that I didn't know about.T: Sweet, change noted.G: SweetJan 31T: Any parties by chanceG: Not that I know of, sorry. There's a bear party at Nowhere Bar. But you're probably looking for something else.T: DamnFeb 1G: Here is the bedside and lamp that I snuggled.T: It looks like it could use some snuggling. Maybe it crawled into your embrace.G: That's possible. I've begun talking to it. When I got up to go to the bathroom last night I touched its shade and said, "I'll be right back."T: Bring it with you on a leash and wheels to the St. Mark's reading.G: It will want its own twitter account soon.T: It should submit to elimae.Feb 8G: You going to this party?T: Jesus, I just woke from a nap. Are you at the party?
T: Have a headache and think I'd miss the dog show, returning to sleep, hope you're having funG: yeah. There's like a line around the block.
G: That's cool.
G: The place is small and there are like 500 people outside. LolT: Jesus…you're inside though right?G: Yeah, I told them I was on the staff and wasn't going to put up with any of their bullshit
G: I'm amped on your birthday Adderall
G: It was an emergency
G: I feel like biting someone's face off
G: :)T: Sweet. What's 'the vibe' inside?G: The vibe is: Ready to be so crowded that it is miserable for everyoneT: JesusG: It's in that strip club on west side highway
G: Really small
G: Found someone whose face I want to bite off I thinkT: Do you think it's something that will go until like 3amG: Human shaped glitterballG: ProbablyT: My next book cover. Looks like a Hubble telescope pic
T: I'm going to 'pop' a Xanax and shower and come, you'll still be there in like an hour right?G: Yeah. I'll be here. Seems dicey outside though. Someone said even Jonathan is waiting to get in
G: Might get better thoughT: Lol, did you get in via being on a list? Is there a list?G: There is a list but they didn't care and told me to go to the line then I lied and said I was on staff.
G: Come down I'm sure someone will be able to get you in manT: Jesus. Just going to sleep then. Committed to next Vice party though, have funG: The dogs are cuteT: Damn…just going to look at pics tomorrow, try to get in someG: CoolFeb 8G: They filmed me yesterday talking about porn. Lol. They were like, amazed by what I said. So provincial
G: For some video doc thing they are doingT: Sweet. What thing were they amazed by?G: Things I said about porn. I was just being homes
G: HonestT: Giancarlo homes, lol
T: HolmesG: Gonna go walk around a bit, eat more adderallT: GoodnighG: Party was way too crowded heading homeT: Looking at the Internet in darkness on bedFeb 20G: Hey man. Drinking at Solas (down 9th from bookstore) if you get here early and wanna chill. Have two 5mg percs for you.T: Oh sweet I want, will be there in 30G: Cool
G: Grabbing something to eat real quick then coming to black and white. Let me know if you guys change plansT: Where you eating I might wantG: Right down the street before Solas there is Otafuku. Just take out. They have only octopus balls and cabbage pancakes. Never had it. Waiting on sidewalk for order to be ready.
G: Took off. Looked for you to say goodbye but couldn't find. Thanks for asking me to read tonight. It was good. Also thanks for "body bag"T: Was a sweet reading I feel, thanks for being in it. I'll try to get more body bags. Thanks for Percs. Wall Street Journal is writing up the reading lol.G: Nice about WSJ
G: Came down nearby to Fontana's to buy coke. Are you guys still at black and white? Might come back or something.T: I'm home for the night, eating ice cream (hehe), not sure about themG: Okay. Cool. When we were at Solas and you were in the bathroom, Marie told me she felt uncomfortable. I said why? She said bc she told you she wanted to have sex with you and you said you didn't want to have sex with her lol
G: She's very forwardT: Lol. I like her. What did you respond.
T: What did you respond?G: I said that maybe you were just being shy.T: Nice
T: She didn't exactly say she wanted sex in those wordsG: That's what she said she said. Just like that.Feb 22G: You guys really partying? Any sweet drugs?
G: Just got finished. Was thinking of coming out.Feb 23T: Yes come over XXX e 29th st XK. Have a fuck load of Xanax and some misc stuff. Like 5 people are peaking on ecstacy right now, come overG: damn just got this already in bed for the night. Have fun thoughT: Oh damn. We'll be up for like 4 hours if you change yer minds
T: Yer mindG: Cool…will try to summon energy and will to make it.Feb 26T: you're in Florida right?G: yeah
G: what up? you here? Shrooming at the beachT: No, drugs at my placeG: Damn I wanna be with drugs at your placeT: I want you that also
T: My Molly guy cant get any tonight and Andrew isnt answering and people are on their way here expecting Molly….whats going on with AndrewG: no idea manFeb 27G: Lighter also a s/o to your avatarT: It looks beautifulG: It's the color most soothing, balming to meT: Near the end of my drug party last nightG: Like baby Jesus in the manger criFeb 28T: This is from Andrew wtf/lolG: lol holy shit thas funnyT: I didn't even call him, "Me known Igor u" wtf…G: lol
G: Sent reconnaissance text, seems he's back to normalT: Damn. Lol
T: Maybe he was trying to speak Chinese to meG: Haha
G: It must have been one of the tweaked gene AndrewsT: LolG: One chromosome offT: Lol, really laughingFeb 29T: Felt an urge to txt you 'I love you' & on only little Xanax and vyvanse.G: I love you same.T: =)G: Weird, last time I was here (in Florida) I texted you 'I love you'
G: On MDMA
G: Then not nowT: I remember, damn it was near AWP time alsoG: yeah you going?T: No, you?
G: Hell no. Shit is gay.T: lol yeah
G: some cool people to seeT: I will never forget when you tossed Megan and I a Percocet last year lolG: Sweet
G: Writing that Rufus Ronson piece, thinking of including the oxies and not being able to see Marks faceT: I highly recommend doing thatG: I should. VMAN is pretty cool. They specifically asked for 'edgy'T: Are you writing for them regularly now? How often?G: Don't know. This is second assignment. The editor seems to like me though.T: Sweet. Do you like Bret easton ellis by the way?G: I like the idea of him
G: Just scored blow and oxys from random waiter in Florida because I saw "the look" in his eyesT: You are the Jesus of oxysG: niceT: Not sure if that makes senseG: Makes sense
G: I could just tell…T: SweetG: bead of sweat on his brow in air-conditioned establishmentT: Lol
T: You should do a TED thing on thisG: Definitely
G: texts from my new connection. LOL wtf is it with dealers?T: Jesus…I almost believe you faked that for meG: Swear I didn'tT: Jesus…feel speechless…laughingG: That's good
G: Just nowT: Jesus…again, speechless…
T: The Blake Butler of drug dealersG: LolMar 3G: My hands have never felt so soft and warm and fuzzy after washing like, almost half of the dishes, before I was like, 'I want to lie down.'T: Laughing
T: I need adderall, I've laid on my bed 7 of the 9 hours I've been awake today and I'm going to sleep nowG: This evening I was in the bathroom looking in the mirror and earnestly said, "You have 2 days and 90 milligrams of Oxycodone to do this with." (referring to Rufus piece)T: Lol. Damn. Start with the "can't see his face" line, feel like there's power in that line.
T: Unless that was the other guy
T: Damn, never mindG: It works. I think I can do it.
G: It was Ronson whose face was blurry but saying that could relay the idea that I didn't care about him. "Rufus' face was clear." Maybe
G: Later on
G: To say thatT: I made a to do list with something that'll take 3 min to do, going to try to do it and sleep, good nightG: Cool. Good night.March 6G: UCBT: Caption: Tao mimes holding a microphone to his face, misjudging the length of a microphone badly, distracted by the pleasure of his oxies.G: You were on Xanax, and denied the oxy. You were great that night. Would watch you on stage doing interview all day
G: Dude, been doing almost pure cocaine for days. Whole different thing in FloridaT: Damn, glad that interview wasn't boring for you. Jesus…did you finish the piece you were working on?G: Yeah, they didn't like it. Lol. Have to rewrite.T: When are you coming back…? Feel like you've been in Florida months.G: I feel I have more interesting things to say than him or XXXXXXXXX, whose face I can't see lol
G: Have been in Florida forever. Home Thursday let's chill for realT: You should forge piece for Vice and make it a running joke that you can't see either of their faces, that even if you weren't on oxies you couldn'tG: Like hours on drugsT: Forge = do theG: I understand forgeT: Sounds sweet, I'm going to some art show at 'The Armory' on mad drugs
T: Forge lolG: Forge is a good word
G: Let's forge through some drugsT: Was a real typo, didn't mean to say forge
T: Gonna start saying forge instead of write or editG: Good call
G: I wanna title my Rufus piece "I Used to Love This Fag"T: NiceG: We need to hang more. I feel like you're like my best friend but I never see you URL
G: irl
G: I never see you URL lolT: Lol'd and tasted metal in my mouthG: Nice. Breece Pancake's friends tasted metal in their mouth the night he suicidesT: Once I finish my book feel like I'm only hangingG: SuicidedT: Damn
T: Want to eat pancakes nowMar 7G: Scored an Opana 40…Christ…heavenT: What're those like? Think my guy has thosG: It's the most high I have been in a long time. I never get sick, and I got sick. It lasts forever too. Been really high since ten this morning.T: Jesus seems sweet. You barely slept last nightG: I slept like 4 hours I thinkT: We should promote drug companies online so they make even better drugs soonG: Been floating on a giant green inner tube in the calm gulf. Water is very clear and I hung my head backwards off of the tube so the world was upside down and shit got spiritual for a minute
G: Or get them to sponsor readings, like beer companies doT: Lol re upside down tube. Muumuu House reading with Xanax buffetG: This reading was made possible with the help of Xanax.T: National Xanax Book Prize, $5 million award
T: Pen/Oxy AwardG: DamnT: LolG: Should hold a contest with a drug prize. Like 20 OC's, 100 Xanax and 50 Adderall. Charge a submission fee.T: Submission fee is 1 oxy, 2 xanax, 2 addderallG: Haha even better. Submission fee is drugs but there's a cash prize. Could work this out as a easy way to get cheap drugs. This idea has legs. Historical.
G: Would be sweet press. Then jail probably.T: We'd be heroesG: Then prison memoirs. Like "Soul on Ice"
G: I've always had this fear that I will go to prison some day. It's like a premonition.T: Livetweet a 5-year stayG: LolT: I feel good thinking I'm not in prisonG: My friend who was in Rikers, then upstate, said they just supply everyone with suboxone to keep them less violentT: SweetT: Just noticed I'm eating chocolate that looks like a Xanax bar lolG: Haha
G: You ate a quarter
G: Says Ramen on one end and the other end looks like the head of a bearded man
G: Like that little piece of something on there is his mouth
G: Did you start eating from one end then changed your mind? I see little teeth marks on the non eaten endT: Not sure where those teeth marks are from, I dropped it on the sidewalk before the pic (how I noticed its Xanax structure), maybe thatMar 8G: Just thought of 'livetweet a 5 yr stay' and smiled and a woman looked at me funny on the street
G: that tweet inflicted an innocent bystander in the outside world
G: text, not tweetT: LolG: Pretty stong text. Solid launch, solid forge.
G: Just dripped whiskey on my iPhone
G: Feel like forgin some shit
G: Gonna forge the nightT: Full moon tonight
T: read an article that says solar flares are most intense in 6 years tonightG: Fucking sweet
G: Finished my piece today on the plane drunk on bloody mary's. Feel like it wasted so much of my mind's time
G: Drinking it awayT: Sweet. You're seeming celebratoryG: Trying to. Sober vacation turned total drug madness. Leaving for Woodstock Monday for March.
G: I felt that getting that pill was like gleaming the cube of drug scoresT: I'm going to try to get some Opana. The Opana clubG: It's like…damnMar 12G: Hey man. Picking up 90 percs right now. You wanna trade for some xanax?T: Hey I'm good on Percs, but am down to sell you 6 bars for $30 (my cost)G: Sweet. Just came to Woodstock though. Be back 22nd to interview Englander about why he chooses such bad book titles. You around?T: Yup will be here, the 22nd I meanG: SweeterT: SweetG: Just met guy in Woodstock who hands me Vicodin in ten minutes #jesusofoxiesT: Next you'll be waking each morning clutching oxies that weren't there beforeMar 21G: Hey. In town for day/night. Want to grab lunch or something?T: Hey sorry just woke, have had food poisoning or something, we should eat next time, had sweet dream about us eating though, will emailG: Went to doctor today and got 'mad percs' Heading back to Woodstock tomorrow until the 30th. Going to BK to interview Englander. Am going to ask him, "How do you feel about Christian Lorentzen's blatantly anti-semitic review of your book?"T: Lol do you like Englander? I liked Lorentzen's review, I read Englander's first book in like 2006 and felt depressed in a bad way.G: I liked his review too. I have been trying to read his new book but I can't get through the first story. But I liked a couple of stories from the first one. The one where the guy is riding in a cab or something and he feels like he became a Jew instantly for some reason. Been a long time. I forgetMar 31G: What up dog lol
G: Downtown with good cocaine
G: and Mark XXXXXApril 2G: Interested in any heroin? We should do a 'Happy Hour with Gian' but with heroin.
G: XXXXXXXX's girlfriend XXXXXXXX wanted to do some so we did yesterday and I ended up with 8 extra bagsT: I'm down with a happy hour heroin thing yes, lolG: Would be sweet. We should forge it.T: I'm definitely down, I think after may 1 though, novel draft due thenG: Totally. Whenever. I'll try to save some heroin lolT: Sweet. Get a deposit box
T: At like CitibankG: Good idea. I know this girl who will hold the keyApril 4G: lol look what a sober friend just gave me. -150 10mg Valium. He found them in a bar. A big pharmacy jar. Wholesale. Lol. Lotto.April 5T: Jesus ChristMay 2G: A friend of mine has lots of 5mg opana. $5 a piece. I'm on 3 right now and am like, feeling pretty greatMay 3T: Damn. I'm sticking to amphetamines until novel is doneG: Sounds good. Godaphetamine!9May 7G: Due to one man's ignorance of the existence of pillidentifier.com I just acquired 60 15mg OCs for $100 US. So sweet.T: Jesus drug god Buddha Christ DiTrapano OxyChristG: Jesus of CodoneT: Noah's OxyArk, 2 kilos of every drugMay 16G: Wish there was an equivalent of a beautiful opium den in NYC, but with oxies.
G: We should start one man. Have monitors who check on our guests. Supply water, music, etc. nice ass rugs
G: Now reading. pretty sweet. Going to maybe interview author, hopefullyT: Lol Steve MartinG: I knowMay 27G: ChristMay 28T: Jesus how much would that costG: No idea. Told him I wasn't a drug dealer.May 30G: You going to 'the mingle'?T: What mingle?G: Lolita bar. Like a NYC lit thing. Seems overcrowded.
G: Emailed you. There's a more specific Facebook thing
G: Was maybe gonna go around 9:30 try and see Kimball
G: Seems like an assload of people for such a small placeT: Probably no but maybe, I'll bring a Xanax with me to libraryG: Cool. Got 30 strips of suboxone today. Gonna do that for awhileT: Never heard of that. why are they 'strips'?G: They're like Listerine strips, you put under your tongue and they dissolve
G: They give them to prisoners to keep them subdued
G: They're huge in jailsT: sweetJun 14T: Hey what's Andrew's latest #?
G: This is my most up to date numberT: I got some stuff from him, his cousin seems mad sweetG: SweetJun 18G: You looking for addy by chance? Girl on my block selling 30mgT: Price?G: She has 160. I asked how much and she said 300. She said if I find someone who wants 100, she'd give me 20 for free
G: Is that expensive? I don't know addy prices.T: I think $20 per is normal, I get them regularly from same internet person for $13G: Hm. I will ask her for how she feels about $20 a pieceT: Andrew's new incarnation 'Jeff' seems really sweet, bought from him a week agoG: Bought what?
G: "Jeff" lolT: $160 Molly, haven't used it yet, but he was real nice and just seemed like a good guy
T: Said 'Andrew' is 'out of the game' or something, like moving onto legal things
T: I'm thinking of doing Molly for the Vice party w a girl I likeG: What Vice party?T: Fwdn you emailG: Good for Andrew. Happy he's turning over a new leaf
G: ThanksJun 20G: I split. Have fun.T: On the roof, good seeing youG: ooh damn. Didn't know of the roof. Stay away from the edges.June 30T: Have a good mushrooms dealer I could get from?
T: Ignore text if 'no'July 1G: Just saw this. Will ask my weed guy today. That's who I get fromT: SweetJuly 4T: Just read thru another sweet year of our texts, think we should do year 2: 'Jeff'G: Mine only go back to November 2011 for some reason. Weird. I have never erased or anything. You have from last July?T: Yup but I'm missing dec 14 2011 to May 2012. You have those?G: Yeah. I have from Nov until now. The first text is 'Sweet. Going to masturbate now.' lolT: Lol…I want to do it, having 2 full years seems sweet, what do you think?G: Yes. Feel like we have to. Was just reading some and started laughing in Starbucks
G: People looking at me weird.T: Sweeeeet. I can transcribe what I have, you what you have. Even our iPhones want us to do it (via apportioning the work)G: Lol I can't believe it's been a year. Jesus. Feel like death is like in just a few weeks.T: I really can't believe it either…seems fucking insaneG: DoesT: Excited to make a sweet collage. I'm thinking just pics of drugs. if you have good ones send me a fewG: Okay. I think I have some good ones. Will get started on this nowT: SweeeeetPreviously - "Andrew": A Dialogue of Texts in the Year of Drugs and Kindness@tao_lin@nytyrant
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G: Here's to another year of invincibly polite texting. Perhaps, if we live to see it, a 2012 VICE post.Jun 29G: That last text had a devilish quality to it. I only mean well.T: Nice lighting in that pic…nice…working on our sweet ass collage tomorrow.
T: Next year's post can just be us discussing it for a year. A year's worth of texts like this text I'm typing now.G: Yes. Also peppered with life and more kindness. Seems like mostly negative comments so far. I wonder if we will still be texting for drugs this time next year. Hope so.T: Just reread most of it and felt 'engrossed,' seems so sweet. Posting on FB now.G: The piece is indomitable. Excited to see if our extreme politeness cues the commenters to also be extremely polite. Would be sweet if our kindness caused the commenters to be filled with love and to only post kindness-related thoughts.T: Could be a turning point for Vice. That would be sweet.Jul 1G: Just thought, "this post seems like we are Andrew's apostles, spreading his Word of kindness"T: Or seeding the Vice demographic for him to expand his drug empire into.G: The same job. We bring His word, and His word is drugs.T: We should've included a coupon for people to print out and redeem with Andrew at the end of the piece. Or written "this post is a sponsored by Andrew."G: Lol. Would have been sweet. Write it in the comments. Sweet.
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T: Sorry for all this trouble, will give you the Ritalin I get - meG: Should be cool now
G: Let me know if there is still a problem.T: Thank youG: No sweatJul 14G: Sup dude, seems distant, seems we should chill, seems better for us (and everyone else), might be chill to chill soon, let's like, bbq but on drugs maybeT: I'm down. BBQMDMA.Aug 15G: Fucking sweet man about book. Very happy. :)T: Sweet, thank you. =]G: Sorry I've been off radar. Just being self-involved to no good end. Let's chill soon man. Mumblecore is like my new 16 Candles. #:)-..T: Hey, just got this. Sweet re 16 Candles. Chill soon, yes. About to sleep ~12 hours, good night.G: Sweet. At this reading in crown heights or something. Seems weird. A girl just read a story with over 100 characters in it. Awful.
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G: Damn. You just sent me that?? Whoa
G: I was mid-text when that came throughT: Yeah sweet. I don't know at all, I'm right by it, have addy for you. Damn/sweet.G: I'm still downtown. Heading over by 12 for sure.T: SweetG: SweetNov 5G: Shrooms are back in. Just text that you're looking for Mario.T: SweeetG: Hey I was misinformed. The guy came by my place and had been saving two bags for someone who flaked. So they were for sale. I bought both if you want one. Don't think they have more.T: Oh damn. I'd really like to buy one from you, thank you. Oh damn.G: That's why I got two.T: Sweet. God bless you…G: No problemNov 11T: Sweet. In a hotel in rural Georgia. About to chug an energy drink and 'jack off.'G: lol
G: Does the energy drink increase the pleasure of the jack sesh? I never tried. Adderall makes me beat off like a madman.T: It does, I feel. More blood flow. Addy actually makes me hornier but harder to get/remain hard.
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T: Oh sweet, Baumann should get on The Colbert Report.G: He should. Hopefully he'll be in some sweet big movie between now and pub date. Or I could keep postponing pub date until he is in something really big.T: Make it like a 12" x 12" size hardcover with his face on both front and back.
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G: With him on the cover like on one knee with his arms folded over the other in a '80s beastie boy pose.
G: Shooting stars and thingsT: Sounds sweet. With pictures of him randomly throughout. And a center-fold thing.G: Exactly.T: I'm going to tweet then masturbate now. Good night. Will text soon when back in NYC.G: Dude. We should have Vice pay to send us to south America to do this stuff for VBS.TV. Im sick of writing for the blog. We must advance in the ranks http://70.32.109.64/takeaways/ayahuasca
G: Goodnight. I'll hold those shrooms for you til you get back.T: That sounds sweet. If not that then something else. Will look into this. Thanks re shrooms. Gnight.T: Whole FoodsG: Seems deliciousDec 13T: Eating dinner at Lodge w Bebe ZEVA & Leigh & other ppl, would be sweet if you came, 930, 318 grandG: Can't man. Doing an interview thing for Paris ReviewT: SweetG: thanks thoT: NpG: Block awayDec 14G: That was seriously funny. Good job. Was bummed you didn't sing Pale Blue Eyes. Thanks for the plug.T: Owe it all to Xanax. Thanks for your morale support. Felt sweet plugging NY Tyrant. Food tastes so good on Xanax, I'm eating cream in library.G: Lol. You should do as many talk shows as possible. It's a good medium for you I think.
G: Who are those hosts though? I couldn't find one interesting thing that they said.
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G: Gonna ask himT: He could make like $2000 off a small sales potentiallyG: ExactlyJan 21G: Hey man. Where should we meet?
G: Just woke upT: Here
T: Called StillwaterJan 22G: Had a nice memorable time tonight. I don't know why but I always open up to you somehow. Hope it's not annoying. Hope you stop throwing up.T: Had a nice night also. Not annoying at all, really interested in hearing all that. Going to email uploaded video tonightG: Sweeeeet
G: Had shrooms in my jacket pocket all day, went through airport security with them, now I may eat them on the beach and give thanksJan 23T: Glad you don't get arrested. Just remembered vomiting in the bag you gave me then abandoning it outside somewhere…lol, thanks again for the bagG: You are a stealth vomiterJan 27G: Hey. Monday is my birthday and might have some people meet at a bar in east village if you're free
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G: May you win everything in the worldJan 28G: Hey. So I guess we're going to Nowhere Bar on Monday, after 10. You met me there before.T: Sweet. See you then.G: SweetJan 29G: Just met another completely different Andrew. Same number. Never seen him before. Asked me about books. Im so high on MDMA. LolT: Jesus…probably just wants in on next year's "year of texts…."G: Lol totally. He wants the fame
G: He's tired of living a life of drug world anonymityT: We should start our own drug dealing thing next yearG: Publish books from profits, like lit gangsters, would be fucking chillT: Get writing residencies at Yaddo and use the time to figure out how to make our own MDMAG: Show up to Yaddo with a truckload of chemicals and haz-mat suits "We'll need our food delivered once a day, and no interruptions please."
G: Hey man. Change of venue. Now at Bedlam on Ave C. There is some weird party at Nowhere that I didn't know about.
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T: Have a headache and think I'd miss the dog show, returning to sleep, hope you're having funG: yeah. There's like a line around the block.
G: That's cool.
G: The place is small and there are like 500 people outside. LolT: Jesus…you're inside though right?G: Yeah, I told them I was on the staff and wasn't going to put up with any of their bullshit
G: I'm amped on your birthday Adderall
G: It was an emergency
G: I feel like biting someone's face off
G: :)T: Sweet. What's 'the vibe' inside?G: The vibe is: Ready to be so crowded that it is miserable for everyoneT: JesusG: It's in that strip club on west side highway
G: Really small
G: Found someone whose face I want to bite off I think
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T: I'm going to 'pop' a Xanax and shower and come, you'll still be there in like an hour right?G: Yeah. I'll be here. Seems dicey outside though. Someone said even Jonathan is waiting to get in
G: Might get better thoughT: Lol, did you get in via being on a list? Is there a list?G: There is a list but they didn't care and told me to go to the line then I lied and said I was on staff.
G: Come down I'm sure someone will be able to get you in manT: Jesus. Just going to sleep then. Committed to next Vice party though, have funG: The dogs are cuteT: Damn…just going to look at pics tomorrow, try to get in someG: CoolFeb 8G: They filmed me yesterday talking about porn. Lol. They were like, amazed by what I said. So provincial
G: For some video doc thing they are doingT: Sweet. What thing were they amazed by?G: Things I said about porn. I was just being homes
G: HonestT: Giancarlo homes, lol
T: HolmesG: Gonna go walk around a bit, eat more adderallT: GoodnighG: Party was way too crowded heading homeT: Looking at the Internet in darkness on bedFeb 20G: Hey man. Drinking at Solas (down 9th from bookstore) if you get here early and wanna chill. Have two 5mg percs for you.T: Oh sweet I want, will be there in 30G: Cool
G: Grabbing something to eat real quick then coming to black and white. Let me know if you guys change plans
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G: Took off. Looked for you to say goodbye but couldn't find. Thanks for asking me to read tonight. It was good. Also thanks for "body bag"T: Was a sweet reading I feel, thanks for being in it. I'll try to get more body bags. Thanks for Percs. Wall Street Journal is writing up the reading lol.G: Nice about WSJ
G: Came down nearby to Fontana's to buy coke. Are you guys still at black and white? Might come back or something.T: I'm home for the night, eating ice cream (hehe), not sure about themG: Okay. Cool. When we were at Solas and you were in the bathroom, Marie told me she felt uncomfortable. I said why? She said bc she told you she wanted to have sex with you and you said you didn't want to have sex with her lol
G: She's very forwardT: Lol. I like her. What did you respond.
T: What did you respond?G: I said that maybe you were just being shy.T: Nice
T: She didn't exactly say she wanted sex in those wordsG: That's what she said she said. Just like that.Feb 22G: You guys really partying? Any sweet drugs?
G: Just got finished. Was thinking of coming out.Feb 23T: Yes come over XXX e 29th st XK. Have a fuck load of Xanax and some misc stuff. Like 5 people are peaking on ecstacy right now, come over
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T: Yer mindG: Cool…will try to summon energy and will to make it.Feb 26T: you're in Florida right?G: yeah
G: what up? you here? Shrooming at the beachT: No, drugs at my placeG: Damn I wanna be with drugs at your placeT: I want you that also
T: My Molly guy cant get any tonight and Andrew isnt answering and people are on their way here expecting Molly….whats going on with AndrewG: no idea manFeb 27G: Lighter also a s/o to your avatarT: It looks beautifulG: It's the color most soothing, balming to meT: Near the end of my drug party last nightG: Like baby Jesus in the manger criFeb 28T: This is from Andrew wtf/lolG: lol holy shit thas funnyT: I didn't even call him, "Me known Igor u" wtf…G: lol
G: Sent reconnaissance text, seems he's back to normalT: Damn. Lol
T: Maybe he was trying to speak Chinese to meG: Haha
G: It must have been one of the tweaked gene AndrewsT: LolG: One chromosome offT: Lol, really laughingFeb 29T: Felt an urge to txt you 'I love you' & on only little Xanax and vyvanse.G: I love you same.T: =)G: Weird, last time I was here (in Florida) I texted you 'I love you'
G: On MDMA
G: Then not nowT: I remember, damn it was near AWP time alsoG: yeah you going?T: No, you?
G: Hell no. Shit is gay.T: lol yeah
G: some cool people to see
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G: Writing that Rufus Ronson piece, thinking of including the oxies and not being able to see Marks faceT: I highly recommend doing thatG: I should. VMAN is pretty cool. They specifically asked for 'edgy'T: Are you writing for them regularly now? How often?G: Don't know. This is second assignment. The editor seems to like me though.T: Sweet. Do you like Bret easton ellis by the way?G: I like the idea of him
G: Just scored blow and oxys from random waiter in Florida because I saw "the look" in his eyesT: You are the Jesus of oxysG: niceT: Not sure if that makes senseG: Makes sense
G: I could just tell…T: SweetG: bead of sweat on his brow in air-conditioned establishmentT: Lol
T: You should do a TED thing on thisG: Definitely
G: texts from my new connection. LOL wtf is it with dealers?T: Jesus…I almost believe you faked that for meG: Swear I didn'tT: Jesus…feel speechless…laughingG: That's good
G: Just nowT: Jesus…again, speechless…
T: The Blake Butler of drug dealersG: LolMar 3G: My hands have never felt so soft and warm and fuzzy after washing like, almost half of the dishes, before I was like, 'I want to lie down.'T: Laughing
T: I need adderall, I've laid on my bed 7 of the 9 hours I've been awake today and I'm going to sleep nowG: This evening I was in the bathroom looking in the mirror and earnestly said, "You have 2 days and 90 milligrams of Oxycodone to do this with." (referring to Rufus piece)
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T: Unless that was the other guy
T: Damn, never mindG: It works. I think I can do it.
G: It was Ronson whose face was blurry but saying that could relay the idea that I didn't care about him. "Rufus' face was clear." Maybe
G: Later on
G: To say thatT: I made a to do list with something that'll take 3 min to do, going to try to do it and sleep, good nightG: Cool. Good night.March 6G: UCBT: Caption: Tao mimes holding a microphone to his face, misjudging the length of a microphone badly, distracted by the pleasure of his oxies.G: You were on Xanax, and denied the oxy. You were great that night. Would watch you on stage doing interview all day
G: Dude, been doing almost pure cocaine for days. Whole different thing in FloridaT: Damn, glad that interview wasn't boring for you. Jesus…did you finish the piece you were working on?G: Yeah, they didn't like it. Lol. Have to rewrite.T: When are you coming back…? Feel like you've been in Florida months.G: I feel I have more interesting things to say than him or XXXXXXXXX, whose face I can't see lol
G: Have been in Florida forever. Home Thursday let's chill for realT: You should forge piece for Vice and make it a running joke that you can't see either of their faces, that even if you weren't on oxies you couldn'tG: Like hours on drugs
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T: Forge lolG: Forge is a good word
G: Let's forge through some drugsT: Was a real typo, didn't mean to say forge
T: Gonna start saying forge instead of write or editG: Good call
G: I wanna title my Rufus piece "I Used to Love This Fag"T: NiceG: We need to hang more. I feel like you're like my best friend but I never see you URL
G: irl
G: I never see you URL lolT: Lol'd and tasted metal in my mouthG: Nice. Breece Pancake's friends tasted metal in their mouth the night he suicidesT: Once I finish my book feel like I'm only hangingG: SuicidedT: Damn
T: Want to eat pancakes nowMar 7G: Scored an Opana 40…Christ…heavenT: What're those like? Think my guy has thosG: It's the most high I have been in a long time. I never get sick, and I got sick. It lasts forever too. Been really high since ten this morning.T: Jesus seems sweet. You barely slept last nightG: I slept like 4 hours I thinkT: We should promote drug companies online so they make even better drugs soonG: Been floating on a giant green inner tube in the calm gulf. Water is very clear and I hung my head backwards off of the tube so the world was upside down and shit got spiritual for a minute
G: Or get them to sponsor readings, like beer companies doT: Lol re upside down tube. Muumuu House reading with Xanax buffet
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T: Pen/Oxy AwardG: DamnT: LolG: Should hold a contest with a drug prize. Like 20 OC's, 100 Xanax and 50 Adderall. Charge a submission fee.T: Submission fee is 1 oxy, 2 xanax, 2 addderallG: Haha even better. Submission fee is drugs but there's a cash prize. Could work this out as a easy way to get cheap drugs. This idea has legs. Historical.
G: Would be sweet press. Then jail probably.T: We'd be heroesG: Then prison memoirs. Like "Soul on Ice"
G: I've always had this fear that I will go to prison some day. It's like a premonition.T: Livetweet a 5-year stayG: LolT: I feel good thinking I'm not in prisonG: My friend who was in Rikers, then upstate, said they just supply everyone with suboxone to keep them less violentT: SweetT: Just noticed I'm eating chocolate that looks like a Xanax bar lolG: Haha
G: You ate a quarter
G: Says Ramen on one end and the other end looks like the head of a bearded man
G: Like that little piece of something on there is his mouth
G: Did you start eating from one end then changed your mind? I see little teeth marks on the non eaten endT: Not sure where those teeth marks are from, I dropped it on the sidewalk before the pic (how I noticed its Xanax structure), maybe thatMar 8G: Just thought of 'livetweet a 5 yr stay' and smiled and a woman looked at me funny on the street
G: that tweet inflicted an innocent bystander in the outside world
G: text, not tweet
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G: Just dripped whiskey on my iPhone
G: Feel like forgin some shit
G: Gonna forge the nightT: Full moon tonight
T: read an article that says solar flares are most intense in 6 years tonightG: Fucking sweet
G: Finished my piece today on the plane drunk on bloody mary's. Feel like it wasted so much of my mind's time
G: Drinking it awayT: Sweet. You're seeming celebratoryG: Trying to. Sober vacation turned total drug madness. Leaving for Woodstock Monday for March.
G: I felt that getting that pill was like gleaming the cube of drug scoresT: I'm going to try to get some Opana. The Opana clubG: It's like…damnMar 12G: Hey man. Picking up 90 percs right now. You wanna trade for some xanax?T: Hey I'm good on Percs, but am down to sell you 6 bars for $30 (my cost)G: Sweet. Just came to Woodstock though. Be back 22nd to interview Englander about why he chooses such bad book titles. You around?T: Yup will be here, the 22nd I meanG: SweeterT: SweetG: Just met guy in Woodstock who hands me Vicodin in ten minutes #jesusofoxiesT: Next you'll be waking each morning clutching oxies that weren't there beforeMar 21G: Hey. In town for day/night. Want to grab lunch or something?T: Hey sorry just woke, have had food poisoning or something, we should eat next time, had sweet dream about us eating though, will emailG: Went to doctor today and got 'mad percs' Heading back to Woodstock tomorrow until the 30th. Going to BK to interview Englander. Am going to ask him, "How do you feel about Christian Lorentzen's blatantly anti-semitic review of your book?"
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G: Downtown with good cocaine
G: and Mark XXXXXApril 2G: Interested in any heroin? We should do a 'Happy Hour with Gian' but with heroin.
G: XXXXXXXX's girlfriend XXXXXXXX wanted to do some so we did yesterday and I ended up with 8 extra bagsT: I'm down with a happy hour heroin thing yes, lolG: Would be sweet. We should forge it.T: I'm definitely down, I think after may 1 though, novel draft due thenG: Totally. Whenever. I'll try to save some heroin lolT: Sweet. Get a deposit box
T: At like CitibankG: Good idea. I know this girl who will hold the keyApril 4G: lol look what a sober friend just gave me. -150 10mg Valium. He found them in a bar. A big pharmacy jar. Wholesale. Lol. Lotto.April 5T: Jesus ChristMay 2G: A friend of mine has lots of 5mg opana. $5 a piece. I'm on 3 right now and am like, feeling pretty greatMay 3T: Damn. I'm sticking to amphetamines until novel is doneG: Sounds good. Godaphetamine!9May 7
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G: We should start one man. Have monitors who check on our guests. Supply water, music, etc. nice ass rugs
G: Now reading. pretty sweet. Going to maybe interview author, hopefullyT: Lol Steve MartinG: I knowMay 27G: ChristMay 28T: Jesus how much would that costG: No idea. Told him I wasn't a drug dealer.May 30G: You going to 'the mingle'?T: What mingle?G: Lolita bar. Like a NYC lit thing. Seems overcrowded.
G: Emailed you. There's a more specific Facebook thing
G: Was maybe gonna go around 9:30 try and see Kimball
G: Seems like an assload of people for such a small placeT: Probably no but maybe, I'll bring a Xanax with me to libraryG: Cool. Got 30 strips of suboxone today. Gonna do that for awhileT: Never heard of that. why are they 'strips'?G: They're like Listerine strips, you put under your tongue and they dissolve
G: They give them to prisoners to keep them subdued
G: They're huge in jailsT: sweetJun 14T: Hey what's Andrew's latest #?
G: This is my most up to date numberT: I got some stuff from him, his cousin seems mad sweetG: SweetJun 18G: You looking for addy by chance? Girl on my block selling 30mg
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G: Is that expensive? I don't know addy prices.T: I think $20 per is normal, I get them regularly from same internet person for $13G: Hm. I will ask her for how she feels about $20 a pieceT: Andrew's new incarnation 'Jeff' seems really sweet, bought from him a week agoG: Bought what?
G: "Jeff" lolT: $160 Molly, haven't used it yet, but he was real nice and just seemed like a good guy
T: Said 'Andrew' is 'out of the game' or something, like moving onto legal things
T: I'm thinking of doing Molly for the Vice party w a girl I likeG: What Vice party?T: Fwdn you emailG: Good for Andrew. Happy he's turning over a new leaf
G: ThanksJun 20G: I split. Have fun.T: On the roof, good seeing youG: ooh damn. Didn't know of the roof. Stay away from the edges.June 30T: Have a good mushrooms dealer I could get from?
T: Ignore text if 'no'July 1G: Just saw this. Will ask my weed guy today. That's who I get fromT: SweetJuly 4T: Just read thru another sweet year of our texts, think we should do year 2: 'Jeff'G: Mine only go back to November 2011 for some reason. Weird. I have never erased or anything. You have from last July?T: Yup but I'm missing dec 14 2011 to May 2012. You have those?G: Yeah. I have from Nov until now. The first text is 'Sweet. Going to masturbate now.' lolT: Lol…I want to do it, having 2 full years seems sweet, what do you think?G: Yes. Feel like we have to. Was just reading some and started laughing in Starbucks
G: People looking at me weird.T: Sweeeeet. I can transcribe what I have, you what you have. Even our iPhones want us to do it (via apportioning the work)G: Lol I can't believe it's been a year. Jesus. Feel like death is like in just a few weeks.T: I really can't believe it either…seems fucking insaneG: DoesT: Excited to make a sweet collage. I'm thinking just pics of drugs. if you have good ones send me a fewG: Okay. I think I have some good ones. Will get started on this nowT: SweeeeetPreviously - "Andrew": A Dialogue of Texts in the Year of Drugs and Kindness@tao_lin@nytyrant
Giancarlo DiTrapano and Tao Lin read "Andrew" at KGB in Manhattan