Mama Pad Thai Noodles with Porterhouse and Uni

"My body's too uni-licious for ya, babe."

Prep: 20 minutes
Total: 20 minutes

Ingredients
Mama Thai instant noodles
garlic, to taste
1 bunch cilantro
1 bunch green onions
28-day dry-aged porterhouse steak
chili powder, to taste
sugar (1 packet per serving of noodles)
Golden Mountain seasoning sauce
soy sauce
olive oil
fresh uni, to taste

Directions

1. Cook Mama Thai instant noodles according to package instructions until they are al dente. (Andy Milonakis cooking tip: Throw a noodle against a wall to see if it sticks in order to ensure that the noodles are finished cooking.) Set the included flavor packets of joy (seasoning and rendered pork fat) aside. Drain noodles and set aside in a bowl.

2. While the noodles are cooking, chop up garlic (to taste), green onions, and cilantro and set aside. Next, cut up the porterhouse steak into bite-sized pieces.

3. Over medium to high heat, heat wok or large frying pan and add a long pour of olive oil into wok/pan. When oil is hot, add chopped garlic, green onions and squeeze in the packets of rendered pork fat.

4. Add the cooked noodles and sugar packets into the wok or pan (use 1 packet of sugar per serving) right away, as it helps to keep the noodles from sticking to each other. Pour in a generous helping of Golden Mountain seasoning sauce and add the flavor seasoning packets. Add in the steak and stir-fry everything together until the meat is barely browned. Remember to keep stirring the ingredients while they cook.

5. Remove the wok or pan from direct heat and add in the uni on top of the noodle mixture.

6. Lastly, plate the noodles and add any extra seasoning (flavor seasoning packets), chili powder, or additional green onions and cilantro. Stuff your face accordingly.

From Fat Prince: Uni Noodles with Night + Market Song