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Oh, For Crying Out Loud: There's a Deflategate Documentary Coming

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Before we start: I'm sorry. Really, I am. I don't like this anymore than you do, but we have to talk about this documentary on Deflategate because it looks like it is really happening. The Indiegogo page for the movie has already raised nearly $62,000, good enough for 103 percent of its initial funding. It has a website. And a Facebook page. And, as of yesterday, a trailer on YouTube.

I encourage you to watch the trailer above and soak in the very first words you hear, which I have helpfully transcribed for you:

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In the America I grew up in, that I still believe in, we loved guys like Tom Brady. A guy who came from nothing, a guy who couldn't even start for much of his career at Michigan. He's the 199th pick in the draft and then turned himself into the greatest of all time.

The man speaking these absurd words is wearing a camo-colored "Salute to Service" Patriots jacket, and sitting next to what is undoubtedly a pint of Sam Adams. Before we get too far along into the documentary, I would just like to point out that the America this guy grew up in is the same America in which the Tom Brady who came from nothing grew up in, which is an America where Tom Brady went to a fancy prep school in San Mateo, California, earned a free ride to one of the premier universities in the country, where he started every game in his final two years (Brian Griese, two years his senior, was busy being undefeated and winning a national championship the first two years), and later became the face of the most popular sports league in the country, beloved and idolized by millions.

OK.

Now obviously, this documentary is ridiculous. It has to be ridiculous because Deflategate is ridiculous. Adding an extra special layer of ridiculousness is that the two Boston dudes featured in a DraftKings "Millionaire Maker" ad—Dave and Rob Gomes—appear to be involved (the two are mentioned in the credits). The ridiculous cherry on top? The two credited their win to Jonas Gray's breakout performance against the Indianapolis Colts that briefly made him a star, before he was benched for being late to practice.

We have come full circle, folks. But I think it's worth mentioning to New England fans: you guys are literally the only ones still talking about this. This is like the Bizarro Streisand Effect, where rather than trying to keep dirty laundry private and dirty, you guys just keep reminding everyone that this is a scandal that happened. I can't believe I'm writing these words, but I'm actually getting a little tired of thinking about what a dirty cheat Tom Brady and the Patriots are.