'Jersey Shore' Is Coming Back, and Somebody's Getting Married

Yeah, Mr. and Mrs. Buddy!

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Jul 26 2018, 6:07pm

Do you ever fantasize about going on multiple vacations a year? What if I told you these month-long trips would not be with your families but with old drinking pals—fellow partiers who, when you were in your mid 20s, you danced and fought and ate poorly cooked meals with? Could you live this existence forever—vacation after vacation after vacation, until the day you die? What if MTV paid you a bunch of money to do it?

For the cast of Jersey Shore—Vinny, Pauly D, Mike "the Situation," Snooki, Jenni, and Deena—the answer appears to be yes. Because just five months after the premiere of Jersey Shore: Family Vacation's first season in Miami, we're already getting a second one—and they're headed, according to the fresh teaser trailer, to yet another city where Mike and his sobriety are sure to fit in without any problems whatsoever: Las Vegas.

The season kicks off on Thursday, August 23, and it should be, as Pauly D told VICE, more documentary-style, with segments on the cast's individual lives. And, judging by the 15-second clip (and some of the guidos' inability to stay out of news), it shouldn't be too difficult to piece together what we can expect. Shall we?

Ronnie, quite shockingly, was reportedly having severe domestic issues with his on-and-off again girlfriend, and with a newborn, it'll be interesting to see how much he views this as another "vacation," considering he lives in Sin City. Mike's sentencing for tax fraud, meanwhile, has been postponed—yet again—until September. If Jersey Shore keeps getting renewed (the second season got greenlit before the first one even aired), will Mike ever have to go to court?

As for everyone else, it looks like Snooki and Jenni are still proud moms. Deena, famously known for her inability to speak at a reasonable volume, is shouting about being pregnant, which must mean she and her husband stopped using condoms, something that Vinny and Pauly often mocked her for doing because they are men. Also, who's slapping a newly single Vinny across the face? Will we finally get to see Sammi Sweetheart, not as a sex doll, but in her full human form? (Likely not.)

And last, but not least: The trailer would lead you to believe that Pauly D has fully embraced his staycation in Las Vegas (also his primary place of residence) and tied the knot with a mystery bride:

Screenshot via YouTube

But don't be fooled by the self-proclaimed "prank war champion." For starters, the hand he's holding looks an awful lot like another man's, and I would guess, as others have, that that's Pauly D's massive watch-adorned arm on the right, and the person on the left is Vinny. We all know how much Pauly fucking loves pranks! And if the guy would invite Angelina back into the mix, he'd probably get hitched to his best bud, too. He's the funny man, lest we forget. (Even Seth Rogen thinks so.)

Anyway, there's a lot to be excited for: Babies! Fake marriages! Arraignments!

Please check back here in the year 2068, when I'm covering Jersey Shore Family Vacation's 157th season in the crew's assisted living facility in Naples, Florida. Until then, check out the new trailer above.

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