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Dick Cheney's Autographed Waterboard Kit Was for Sale on eBay

Bids for the kit topped $3,000 before the page, ostensibly run by Sacha Baron Cohen's alter ego, was taken down.

by Drew Schwartz
Jul 23 2018, 4:20pm

Screengrab via Showtime / Twitter

Update (7/24): As of Tuesday, the listing for the kit is back up on eBay.

On Sunday night's episode of Who Is America?—Sacha Baron Cohen's new show in which he dupes an unbelievable number of conservatives into humiliating themselves—he sat down with Dick Cheney, somehow managing to con the former Vice President into autographing a waterboarding kit. And for a beautiful, fleeting moment, the thing was up for sale online.

The signed torture device went up for auction on eBay over the weekend, setting off a bidding war that reportedly topped $3,000 before the page was mysteriously taken down. According to the Hollywood Reporter, the auction's description was penned by Colonel Erran Morad, a fake anti-terror expert Cohen plays on the Showtime show—and the same character he used to interview Cheney for Sunday night's episode.

Before the listing was taken down, the description—written in Morad's voice—advertised the kit as "a professional grade piece of military hardware" that "can also be used to Dr. Pepper Board, Clorox Board, or even Urine Board potential terrorists or annoying neighbors."

Here is a rare opportunity to own a WATER BOARD BOTTLE SIGNED BY the Godfather of the sport—American war hero and all-round mensch, VICE-PRESIDENT DICK CHENEY.

Unlike the cheap domestic water board kits you can buy on Amazon, this is a professional grade piece of military hardware. Fully functioning, it have seen many hours active use by me, both on the frontline of the War on Terror and also in my own home, where it has proved very effective at keeping my son, Eyal, in line. Indeed, if you too live in a bungalow, water boarding is a great alternative to the “naughty step.”

The bottle is made from Military Grade High Density Polyethylene (HDPE), meaning that as well as Water Boarding, it can also be used to Dr. Pepper Board, Clorox Board, or even Urine Board potential terrorists or annoying neighbors.

Please bid freely, not only will you get a fully operational torture, I mean interrogation device, all proceeds from the sale will go to AMNESTY INTERNATIONAL.

Meanwhile, Cohen is continuing to embarrass the hell out of pretty much everyone who comes on his show, from the gun rights advocate who supported arming toddlers to his latest victim, Georgia state representative Jason Spencer, who's in hot water after dropping his pants and screaming the N-word during Sunday's episode.

As for the waterboarding kit, it's not clear if it will find its way back onto eBay, but seeing as we're only two episodes in, maybe Cohen is trying to get a few more signatures before he auctions the thing off to the masses.

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