Nintendo announced their latest foray into the exercise space this week, and you know what? We're down! We discuss this wild new contraption and the game that comes with it, Ring Fit Adventure, Austin brings us his thoughts on Daemon X Machina, we have a colonialism double whammy with Iceborne and Greedfall, and Control continues to be a fucking great game. You can listen to the full episode and read an excerpt below.
Patrick: Yo this Ring Fit game looks cool as hell and I want to play it.
Austin: Can I tell you a thing that everyone should do just to replicate the experience I had this morning with this game, to make this all about me again. Hit play, then mute the video after you hear the snap, after the Switch button, because that's what happened to me the first time I hit play. So I just thought the first 30 seconds were intentionally silent, of these two conventionally attractive white people holding this weird, firm, hula hoop.
Patrick: Shake Weight thing. Kinda Shake Weight adjacent.
Austin: It's adjacent to a Shake Weight.
Cado: It's adjacent in so far as it will make you make the same goofy ass movements that are gonna be GIF'd over and over.
Austin: Yeah, lot of squeezing and shaking. They are in their best business casual and they are facing the camera with very big smiles, very big eyes, presumably talking about fitness. I was just like "Wow, I can't believe Nintendo got a Black Mirror season just dedicated to it." Cause that's what, without audio on, the first 30 seconds of that trailer feels like.
Patrick: Or it looks like an FMV from Control. They're explaining something they found in The Oldest House, which is this weird ring device
Austin: It's an object of power!?! The Ring Fit is an object of power! What is Ring Fit? Why are you excited about Ring Fit Patrick?
Patrick: They made a JRPG that is attached to this [ring]. So it's a it's a ring that you put one of the JoyCons into, the JoyCon goes into the top.
Austin: It's a big ring, not like a little ring
Patrick: Yeah it's a big ring. like it's a couple feet long. And then it bends and squishes and then you can hold it on the left and right. And then you put the other JoyCon into like a gun holster-y type of thing that gets strapped to your leg. And it's using those accelerometers, the ones tracking your leg, and the other one's tracking this ring.
Cado: Apparently it's also tracking the tension? Like there's extra sensors where, as you squeeze it can tell, but it's not just the JoyCon.
Patrick: Sure. HD Rumble, HD Exercise, I believe it. And you're playing, they have just like different exercises, but also you are like playing like a mild JRPG, where when you're running, you're running through the world so it's tracking your runs, and then there are combat sequences where your different poses and exercises are your attacks. Like they might be weak to, I don't know, an ab work out or a squat.
Austin: Oh but remember the ab one is your defense. Defense is squeezing this ring against your abs. But like there's yoga style attacks, and there's arm strength style attacks and squat style attacks, that are all different exercises.
Patrick: There's different skills, like squat, knee to chest, I'm looking at the video now, it's just really charming!
Cado: And they're all color coded to the enemies so you know which ones to pick and all that, their weaknesses.
Austin: This is getting dragged right now. I'm with you Patrick.
Patrick: [It's] getting dragged? Fuck no, I'm all in! give me gimmicky exercise bullshit!
Austin: "I got a really big team, and they need some really big rings" as Drake and Future said years ago. I really think that has a place in my life. I would try this. Real talk the fact that it's tied to a thing that has ongoing progress. I don't think Wii Fit did that? Your body obviously has ongoing progress.
Patrick: Yeah, it tracked you were doing but it didn't have, but you weren't like leveling up a character related to your exercise.
Cado: Right, it further gamified that specific like progress that–
Austin: That you were making for yourself, which is the thing that should matter to me.
Cado: [laughts] Right!
Austin: But! If I can get my characters sit up skill maxed out, then I'm gonna finally be able to take over that skeleton castle and we'll see what happens from there.
Cado: Yeah. There's a reason I did DDR for so long, it's fun!
Austin: It's fun! Who knows if this is actually fun but I'll try it out, hell yeah.
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