The FAA's Restrictions on Electronics on Airplanes May Be Lifted

After years of frustrated flight attendants telling you, for the last goddamn time, to turn it off, the Federal Aviation Administration may finally throw up its hands and let you leave your precious electronics on.

According to the New York Times, “This week, an FAA advisory panel will meet to complete its recommendations to relax most of the restrictions. The guidelines are expected to allow reading e-books or other publications, listening to podcasts, and watching videos.”

In United's Hemispheres magazine, Douglas Rushkoff already mourned how, with airborne Wi-Fi becoming the norm, we’ve lost pretty much the last place where we could be free of the internet’s tangled web.

But Rushkoff can take heart that at least take-offs and landings will continue to be moments were people are forced to be alone with only their thoughts, with only the contents of the in-flight magazine and their hard drives to distract them. Per the Times, “the ban on sending and receiving e-mails and text messages or using Wi-Fi during takeoff or landing is expected to remain in place, as is the prohibition on making phone calls throughout the flight, the panel members said.”

The panel’s goal is to create a uniform “gate to gate” regulation, that applies to all airlines and all planes. They’re expected to announce the results of the panel this year, with changes coming as soon as 2014. Freed from this intrusion on our productivity, the United States will no doubt rocket out of the rest of this recession, and not just sit there playing Temple Run, while both ignoring the living miracle of achieving flight and the gaping maw the emptiness of our lives.

If nothing else, this should make life easier for flight attendants, who have found themselves in the unenviable position of being hall monitors for grown-ass “adults,” who, frankly, shouldn’t have to be told twice.