Food by VICE

I Want to Share a Vienna Sausage Martini with You

For this edition of Seriously, Though, Who Is This? I made a Vienna Sausage Martini inspired by Montreal's Joe Beef, posted up a Michelangelo apron behind it to class things up, and sent it to a few unsuspecting bartenders.

by Christophe Parault
Apr 30 2015, 8:00pm

Welcome back to Seriously, Though, Who Is This?, a column by fearless contributor Xavier Aaronson, who anonymously texts strange and confusing culinary-related imagery to unsuspecting victims in order to uncover various aspects of the human psyche and the power of visual communication. This week, I reached out to some fancy bartenders for their input. Enjoy. This week, he enlisted the help of Christophe Parault to pull off these texts.

The canned Vienna sausage is the edible equivalent to all the piled-up unmentionables at the back of the slaughterhouse: mechanically separated, discarded remnants of a brutal chapter in an animal's life.

In line with their love for all things SPAM, the Joe Beef guys from Montreal drummed up a recipe for a Vienna Sausage Martini, and I decided to make it.

This frothy drink is the classic martini's troubled cousin, dirtied with brine and a dash of hot sauce. It's like drinking liquid liverwurst, only juiced up with vodka, and then rinsing your mouth with lard.

So for this edition of Seriously, Though, Who Is This? I took a pic of my own sausage 'tini, posted up a Michelangelo apron behind it to class things up, and sent it to a few unsuspecting people.

wtffoodtexts_71eed858-ad11-4448-a324-774d677e2c03
wtffoodtexts_554a6b7d-5a9b-4333-8dbd-1a65ca3f77fc
wtffoodtexts_836d3045-7964-4f51-afd1-9212d3891f87
wtffoodtexts_54354d79-bdd3-4c7b-a5d2-a54649c1deff
wtffoodtexts_a862297b-048b-40c2-bf17-7b02015528a5
wtffoodtexts_f6fa7796-682e-4abf-8d1e-309e92236155
wtffoodtexts_62a7a86d-f2e3-459a-a8b4-fcca15f3dd5d
wtffoodtexts_111e92f6-c25f-43f3-916d-1e57f0f7937a