The hack of extramarital affairs site Ashley Madison has produced a slew of alleged internal documents, including emails that appear to show that the company saw security as an afterthought and that its founder wanted to hack a competitor.
On a lighter note, it turns out that Noel Biderman, the founder of Ashley Madison and CEO of its parent company Avid Life Media, is also apparently a movie script writer.
A PDF of the project titled In Bed With Ashley Madison was attached to an email sent to Biderman from his co-writer in January 2012.
The story centers on Sam, a young, attractive entrepreneur who runs a struggling ad agency and pines for her busy husband's attention. The film opens when Sam loses a pitch to her all-time rival. Just as the firm seems threatened, a solution presents itself: the parent company of Ashley Madison, a fictionalized version of the real-life site, is going public and needs an advertising agency—but none of the big agencies will touch the account, even though it's worth "billions in billings."
Sam decides to learn more about Ashley Madison and snag the account to save her firm, her friends, and just maybe, her love life. "It's a Cinderella tale about a confused woman who learned the value of love and friendship through advertising," a narrator says. "That's right, you heard me, advertising."
The script was apparently penned by Biderman and Marc Morgenstern, a writer, director and producer, and the film claims to be "Inspired By Actual Events." (Motherboard could not confirm whether any of the events depicted in the movie script did indeed happen.)
Morgenstern's first film was The Vampire Conspiracy back in 2005, and according to the trivia on his IMDB profile, he "was once related to William Shatner by marriage." It also looks like Morgenstern directed Affairs Across America: The Ashley Madison Story, a documentary from 2012.
Below are a selection of short excerpts from the script for your reading pleasure. It's actually… kind of funny.
It's full of not-that-clever humor:
And wordplay, sort of:
Moments you can easily see in your mind:
There's no shortage of canvassing for the brand (or its parent company), which is namedropped throughout the script:
Is "affair on you" the proper wording?
Some amazing names:
And we'll just end on this, which, OK: