Sports

Merry Christmas, Jerry Sandusky. Signed, Pennsylvania Taxpayers

He can use the Christmas gift to buy a lot of cigarettes.
December 24, 2015, 4:52pm

If there's one person who obviously deserves more than $200,000 on Christmas, it's convicted child abuser Jerry Sandusky. Luckily, the Karma powers agree, and have therefore sent Sandusky a check for $211,000 in unpaid pension benefits. That'll buy him about 30,142 packs of cigarettes. 'Tis the season, etc. etc.

Don't worry, Pennsylvania taxpayers, you're only contributing about one cent per person towards Sandusky's pension. But, in seriousness, the money will probably all go towards lawyers for his appeal process.