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Sports

Sepp Blatter Undergoes Medical Examination—Is Black Magic to Blame?

Should we stop making fun of Blatter? Nah.

An effigy of Sepp Blatter was burned last night, and today the real Blatter is undergoing medical examination. Coincidence?

Reuters reported today that Blatter was undergoing a checkup. Just mere hours prior, during a Bonfire Night at Edenbridge in Kent, a 36-foot-tall Blatter made by artist Frank Shepherd was torched to a crisp.

Blatter's spokesman Klaus Stoehlker chose to attribute his boss's condition to stress, not the dark arts.

"He is under tremendous pressure from so many sides and perhaps this is a little bit difficult for a man who is not the youngest," Stoehlker told reporters.

Still, it might not hurt to roast some those plane tickets you bought for Qatar, summer 2022, just in case.