On this eighth day of the 2017th year of our Lord, God's favorite son Lionel Messi bestowed upon the earth a gift that will be belted about by angel choirs from on high for all eternity. It was a free kick, and it was immaculate.
The wall of Babel (Villarreal) attempted to thwart his attempt to unify the masses, but no universal language was divided into many—everyone was just left speechless.
Let us gaze upon its glory yet again:
Lionel Messi will surely be canonized soon for this saintly act. (The 90th minute goal ended the game in a draw.)