Chilean Authorities Just Seized a Load of Minion Shaped Ecstasy Pills
If the E doesn't make you dehydrated, then all that cry-laughing should do it!
Chilean custom authorities have shared pictures on Twitter detailing the seizure of over 100 ecstasy tablets made in the likeness of Minions, the Metro has reported. The tablets, hidden inside a children's colouring kit, were on their way to the Chilean city of Vina del Mar. The discovery has led to the arrest of two men, who have been put under house arrest by local authorities.
Minions, much like cholera in 1832 London, are everywhere! If you aren't familiar with the dastardly yellow buggers, then where have you been? The hilarious little henchman are the stars of the Despicable Me franchise, where they are best known for laughing and falling over or something like that. To be completely honest, we don't know what they do in the films, because we'd rather watch this video detailing the top ten car batteries of 2015 60 times in a row, than actually sit through anything involving minions. Cute little yellow buggers.
That being said, it's not that easy to avoid them. Over the past couple of years they've appeared on balloons, lunchboxes, watches, and a thousand and one t shirts. Students dress up as them, fun-loving individuals get tattoos of them, and some people even think Eastender's Aunt Babe has started to dress like a Minion! It's enough to make you cry laugh all the moisture out of your body until you're little more than a pale, grey foetus.
The news that you can now snap a Pingion in half on your next big night out is surely a sign that the process is complete. Minions now truly are everywhere and it's all your fault. You thought it was all just a big joke, didn't you? That sharing one funny gif of a Minion trying to surf wouldn't really matter. That retweeting a list of 20 Times Minions Were So Funny We Actually Fucking Shat and Cried Blood wouldn't really contribute that much to their popularity. That buying a Minions onesie wouldn't eventually lead to them even ruining drugs. Well, look at that, it did. You've ruined drugs. Congratulations.
Let's now watch this video and think about what we've done.