F U, Pikachu: ‘Pokémon Apex’ Is the Adults-Only Remake of the Pocket Monster Franchise

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What the actual fuck is this? As reported on Nintendo Life, Pokémon Apex is a (totally unofficial, fan-made) Pokémon game that wants to lend the famous series about small monsters hitting other small monsters about the chops in a variety of appealing ways a grown-up twist. Which is another way of saying: There'll be swearing. "Butts" and "Damns" and "Fuck You, Pikachus." That sort of thing.

Apex is being slowly put together by Nate. Who's Nate? "iamvishnu", apparently, according to the game's development blog. And that information doesn't help me in the slightest. What does, however, is this explanation, from Nate/iamvishnu, regarding the improvements Apex will bring to the regular, child-friendly Pokémon games:

"Pokémon Apex is developed with an adult Pokémon fan in mind. The game contains some adult dialogue (some swearing) and themes (death, abandonment), and some minor horror elements."

Go on:

"Furthermore, the game is intended to be somewhat difficult, meaning that you will need to think about your strategies and make conscientious choices about your team in order to progress. Playing through the game haphazardly will get you into trouble."

I'm still listening:

"Also, this game is for people who prefer to take their time in games to explore their environment and uncover hidden details. There are lots of small details hidden throughout the game, as well as secret areas and items that reward meticulous players."

It's Pokémon with a potty mouth, basically. Right? Yes, but also no, as Nate/iamvishnu explains, identifying everything that's wrong with the mainstream Pokémon series, set to continue later in 2016 with Sun and Moon editions.

"Here are the list of problems with core Pokémon games that I intend to solve: low difficulty, poor balance, bland characters, and formulaic game structure." Nate/iamvishnu adds: "Forget everything you know about Pokémon games. Apex aims to redefine what it means to be a Pokémon game."

At least, it will do until Game Freak, the primary developers of the Pokémon series, throw a cease-and-desist order at Apex so fast it'd make a Boldore cry. (I say that, but Apex has been in development since December 2014, so maybe not.) In the meantime, you can actually play a work-in-progress alpha version of Pokémon Apex right now—click here to do so. It's Friday, so who cares about work, anyway. And tomorrow, for all any of us know, Apex might be gone forever.

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