This story is over 5 years old

How Stylish Is Your Butt Cleavage?

And more stuff in VICE Style's Week in Tidbits.

by Vice Style
Mar 2 2012, 10:15pm
While we at VICE Style struggle to bring you in-depth articles about prostitute-managed fashion labels in Sao Paulo, transvestites wearing bikinis made out of rats, Japanese kids who inject bagels into their faces and photo shoots set among suburban tower blocks in Russia, deep down we know that, really, all you want is quick, 30-second hits of dumb, weird, funny fashion news. That's why we created Tidbits, our frequently updated aggregator of all the dumbest, weirdest and funniest stuff we see, watch, hear or read on the fashion part of the internet. Here are this week's best.

Also, because we're nice, open types who have read Wikinomics and understand that, on the internet, getting ahead is about what you give away, we've decided to let you host VICE Style's Tidbits on your own blog, tumblr, website or whatever. Meaning you'll be able to host VICE Style text, pictures and videos or any combination of those in a way that suits you. If that sounds good, click here.


In the ongoing worldwide tits or ass debate, tits always seem to come out on top—no pun intended. That might be because more men genuinely prefer boobs to butt, but I have a feeling that the amount of tit men has been massively boosted by the amount of cleavage-flaunting tops and dresses on sale. It's a global conspiracy, basically. Greek Etsy user Lina Petrauskiene is doing her bit for asses everywhere by designing this Super Sexy Dress, which teasingly "reveals the most attractive part of the woman's body," the ass crack.


Someone on Etsy is selling these bejeweled briefs made out of beef jerky, so your loved one still has something crotch-related that they can get stuck into and you have the added satisfaction of wearing dried meat over your meat, which has to be, like, the manliest thing ever, right? If $15 is a bit too steep for edible pants, then check out the free guide on how to make your own pair.


While losing your hair, it's always a good idea to forget dignity and bring as much attention to your descent into old age as possible. Pork pie hats are good if you want to take the "Bruce Willis on a dude's fishing trip" route and hair plugs are great for the man who enjoys spending extortionate amounts of money on painful, non-permanent procedures, but for those who want to double-up on embarrassment and future regret, nothing is more perfect than Ian Watson's technique of tattooing stubble onto your scalp. The best thing is, it'll start out black, then gradually turn into a blurry puddle of expired tattoo ink green, so you can live out your final days looking like a half-baked version of that lizard guy. Yay, innovation!  


We feel mega-bad about leaving Japan out of our fashion kid Global Trend Report btw – so it's only right that we remedy that by showing you F-a-s-s-h-o-n, the single best place on the internet to overdose on phenomenal Japanese street style. A word of warning though: After scrolling through for ten minutes, I'm 100% ready to quit my job, move to Japan and somehow marry every single girl featured on there, so if you're digging your current situation, whatever that might be, get ready to rethink a lot of serious stuff, because this is a game-changer.


Supreme definitely has its haters and I can see why, considering it's become partly synonymous with a new breed of loud, tedious dickheads who say "swag" a lot and don't talk about anything other than their streetwear collection. But then, the first breed of Supreme-wearers was full of obnoxious, skater dickheads and besides, a hat doth not make a dickhead, an incredibly annoying personality does. Anyways, they just released this tripped-out, headfuck of an advert for their SS12 range, which is amazing enough to convert even the most holier-than-thou internet critic.  

Click here to read more from VICE Style.

And click here to satisfy your lust for more VICE Style Tidbits.