Bars across the nation will pull up their blinds and kick open their doors early Thursday morning so boozers with a penchant for politics can get blasted during James Comey's highly anticipated Senate hearing, Business Insider reports.
In what will likely be the closest thing C-SPAN will ever have to an explosive season finale, the former FBI director is set to testify in front of the Senate Intelligence Committee at 10 AM for the first time since he was abruptly fired in early May. Among other things, Comey is expected to be grilled about certain private conversations he shared with Trump—a moment that could only be sweetened by copious amounts of alcohol served absurdly early in the morning.
Shaw's Tavern in Washington, DC, is planning to open up at 9:30 AM—30 minutes before the former FBI director is set to testify—for a shindig it's dubbed the "Comey Hearing Covfefe." The viewing party boasts $5 shots of Stoli and a sandwich stacked with fried chicken, bacon, and iceberg lettuce, a.k.a. the "FBI."
Those in the nation's capital can also catch the hearing at Union Pub, where each tweet—sorry, "official statement"—Trump fires off about Comey earns the whole bar a free drink. Given the fact that Trump has already reportedly cleared his schedule to live-tweet the whole thing, those in attendance should prepare to be wasted by, like, noon.
Though DC's leading the pack with viewing parties serving everything from "covfefe cocktails" to "last words" and "dropped bomb" drinks—it's not the only city looking to help you booze your way through Thursday's spectacle. Early risers in Houston can catch the hearing at the "SUPER BOWL of Washington," hosted at a bar called Axelrad. Doors open at 8:45 AM, a prime time to start knocking back signature discounted drinks like the "impeachmint" and the "bad hombre."
Over in San Francisco, at least three bars plan to set up shop super early so West Coasters can catch the hearing, as SFGate reports. Starting at 6 AM, patrons of Cloone's Pub, Ace's Bar, or Gina & Carlo's can start slugging down shots of Russian vodka during the must-see political event.
Let's get weird, America.
Follow Drew Schwartz on Twitter.