A while back, we at Noisey ran an interview with an ambitious young Weezer fan focused on a singular quest. She was determined to get Weezer to cover the song “Africa” by Toto. She had recently snagged the Twitter handle @weezercoverafrica and was using it to prod the band’s members into putting their spin on this iconic song, to some acknowledgment. We gave her a platform because we believed in her message—we too wanted to hear the sweet sounds of rains being blessed by Rivers Cuomo and company. But now, it’s been almost six months of Weezer not covering the song, and if we’re being honest, we’re getting honked the h*ll off.
Our frustration is not so much due to the sense of entitlement that the internet generation carries—the same selfish demanding that has convinced studios to revive Arrested Development, Wet Hot American Summer, and other cult classics. It’s that Weezer seems to be straight-up fucking with us at this point.
Last month frontman Rivers Cuomo played a set in Chicago jam-packed with covers. He did acoustic takes on the Smashing Pumpkins, REO Speedwagon, Pixies, and TWO _Dookie_-era Green Day songs. All good, but no “Africa.” (Also, Rivers kept his puffy winter coat on the whole time. Maybe so that he could make a quick escape into the winter night in case the crowd turned on him for snubbing “Africa.”)
And now, Weezer has released another cover—this one, finally, of a Toto song. At long last, it seemed Weezer had succumbed to the overwhelming and irrational internet demand! EXCEPT THE SONG THEY COVERED IS “ROSANNA” AND NOT FR*CKING “AFRICA.” When do you ever go to a karaoke bar and hear someone request "Rosanna"? This is like when you would ask for a big LEGO set for your birthday and your parents would get you the generic knock-off FunBlocks or whatever. This sucks ass. FunBlocks suck, man.
Weezer, why are you toying with us? Why won’t you bless the rains? Is it something we’ve done? Or are you setting us all up for the best “Africa” cover the world has ever heard? Last we checked, there were no Twitter accounts beseeching you to cover “Rosanna.” There is no @WeezerCoverRosanna. There is @WeezerCoverAfrica. Why are you so intent on dashing the hopes of our nation’s teens?
Please, Weezer, this year has taken so much from us. Give us what we want. We want “Africa.”