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We Asked Dads to Rate All of Tim Kaine's Dad Jokes from the VP Debates

"Deportation nation" is good. But not as good as "conjunction, junction."

by Linda Yang
Oct 5 2016, 4:05pm

Photo by Win McNamee via Getty Images

Last night's Vice Presidential debate gave America the opportunity to watch Hillary Clinton's running mate Virginia Senator Tim Kaine, duke it out against Trump's VP pick, Indiana Governor Mike Pence.

If you're not already familiar with his work, Pence has previously supported an anti-abortion bill that forces women seeking an abortion to pay for funerals for fetal remains, and has had many other terrible ideas during his time as US representative and governor. Kaine, on the other hand, acquired the most "daddy," tweets during this summer's Democratic National Convention, and he held the title of King Daddy again last night with his endless supply of awkwardly-delivered zingers.

In the aftermath of the debate, we asked real dads Jeff, Jim, and David what they think of Kaine's dad jokes.

Read more: This Week, Tim Kaine Became the DNC's Favorite Daddy

"Do you want a 'you're hired' president in Hillary Clinton or do you want a 'you're fired' president in Donald Trump?"

Jeff: That's moderately funny. However, the actually funny thing was [his] denial of everything that Trump said.

Jim: [Laughs] I guess he's talking about The Apprentice. I would say that I hope that the American public are Survivors. Haha, I guess. [I point out that he mad a dad joke.] Whoa, I guess so. That's a dad joke! In all seriousness, I hope we're all Survivors.

David: It's really not that funny. But it's not saying "Trumped up economics," so at least we have that.

"Donald Trump can't start a Twitter war with Miss Universe without shooting himself in the foot."

Jeff: That's funny. But, is that even a dad joke? That seems to me to be just a general joke.

Jim: It's probably more accurate for him to say he can't go to the bathroom without peeing down his leg. That's a much more accurate way to describe it.

"Hillary and I believe in comprehensive immigration reform. Donald Trump believes in deportation nation."

Jeff: That was funny. 7 on a 10 scale.

Jim: Deportation nation. That's following the belief that if it rhymes, it's funny. But, that one wasn't very effective. I would give it maybe a 3 on a 10 scale.

David: That's a 5. Toeing the line between funny and not funny. Conjunction junction is better, in my opinion.

Read more: Some Absolute Garbage Ideas by Vice Presidential Nominee Mike Pence

"You are Donald Trump's apprentice."

Jim: That's a good point. And I mean, I'm not sure that I would have been that kind. I might have added that you're a stooge. Or a henchman or something like that or a familiar. Like how the Joker has all these guys dressed up like clowns before Batman kicks their ass.

David: He kinda is. I'm sure everyone will be thinking that now but it's not particularly too funny.

"[Trump] loves dictators. He's got kind of a personal Mount Rushmore: Vladimir Putin, Kim Jong-un, Muammar Gaddafi."

Jeff: That's a good one. He came prepared, just like a comedian. [Jeff gives speeches often for his job] I start my speech everyday with a quote—you have to get canned stuff or you're never going to get it done.

Jim: I like that one. That one, I would give a 7 or an 8. I'm sure that there must have been an internal debate at some point before the actual debate as to whether they should include Mussolini and Hitler. They probably decided that would be a little over the top.

David: That's a mouthful.

"If you don't know the difference between dictatorship and leadership, then you got to go back to a fifth-grade civics class."

Jeff: That's a little bit of a burn.

Jim: It's kind of a boring kind of analogy; it reminds me of "there's no ship but friendship." That's a little silly. I would say a 2 or a 3. Have you heard of Vice President Garner? He was FDR's Vice President, he once described the Vice-Presidency as being "not worth a bucket of warm spit."