America Needs Sean Spicer on 'Dancing with the Stars'

Sean Spicer's post–White House future is still unclear, but sadly, it seems that the much-maligned White House press secretary won't be a contestant on Dancing with the Stars, according to a TMZ report, after ABC reportedly expressed interest in having Spicer join the cast.

Spicer resigned from his Trump administration post to protest the hiring of communications director Anthony "the Mooch" Scaramucci, who made it a colorful ten days before he was let go by new chief of staff John Kelly. Although the Mooch is out now, Politico reports that Spicer "made it clear to his colleagues by late afternoon on Tuesday that he does not plan to stay on in the White House beyond August."

Dancing with the Stars is a traditional temporary landing spot for public figures unsure of their next step—for example, current secretary of energy Rick Perry appeared on the show after quitting his most recent campaign for president. So Spicer would make sense as a contestant, but TMZ reports that "sources close to Spicer tell us [he] was flattered by the opportunity, but because he believes he'll have an 'overwhelming number of commitments in the Fall,' he declined the offer."

Instead, it appears he is trying to negotiate a major TV deal, signing with attorney Bob Barnett—who frequently represents political celebrities like former British prime minister Tony Blair, Dick Cheney, and Laura Bush—and reportedly meeting with NBC, CBS, and FOX News last week. He's also contemplating a book deal and reportedly generally enjoying life now that he no longer has to defend Donald Trump's every tweet.

The source close to Spicer told TMZ that, unsurprisingly, "He's not a good dancer." But being bad at dancing shouldn't stop Spicer from participating on the show. After all, he is notably bad at talking but still landed the press secretary job.

Sean Spicer, if you're reading this, which you definitely 100 percent are, I hope you reconsider your decision. The US is very divided right now, as you probably noticed, and something that seems to bring folks together is watching you do whatever you do on TV. If there's one thing that can bridge the gap between the Democrats and the Republicans, the fake media and the White House, the feminists and the MRAs, the alt-right and the Democratic Socialists of America, it's you going on DWTS. It would be a public service and the most meaningful thing you've ever done with your life.

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