First came the Archie reboot that turned Jughead into a sad, emo biker and Grundy into a sultry music teacher who fucks high schoolers. But now it looks like it's Sabrina's turn for a gritty makeover! On Thursday, Netflix released a new teaser trailer for its upcoming Riverdale-y Sabrina the Teenage Witch reboot, Chilling Adventures of Sabrina, and the thing looks spooky as all hell—as in literal Hell.
Remember that old episode of Sabrina where Sabrina's two aunts threw her a surprise birthday by holding some kind of terrifying séance and summoning Baphomet to join them for an occult ritual? No? Well, that's because the scariest shit from Melissa Joan Hart's 1990s show were the talking cat's uncanny valley vibes—but it's the kind of stuff we have to look forward to in Chilling Adventures, apparently:
Also, evil demon girls!
And spooky séances!
And hazardous slumber party games!
And poorly-lit high school hallways!
A biting comment on the lack of funding for our nation's failing public school system, or just an attempt to make a hallway locker scene seem spooky? You decide.
This time around, Sabrina is played by Kiernan Shipka, in her first major role since Mad Men ended. Shipka's Sally Draper was low-key one of the strongest pieces of the later Mad Men seasons and even managed to give those awful scenes with Glen Bishop some emotional weight, so it's nice to see her back on TV, even if she's now walking the left-hand path.
Chilling Adventures of Sabrina is executive produced by the same folks behind Riverdale and was penned by the show's showrunner, Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa, but don't expect Dark Betty to join Sabrina's coven anytime soon or whatever. The show creators have so far shrugged off the idea that the shows exist in the same universe, and the fact that the two series are on different networks doesn't bode well for a crossover. But at least we know for sure that Salem will be back, so that's something:
The entire first season of Chilling Adventures of Sabrina is slated to hit Netflix on October 26, just in time for Halloween. Woo hoo!
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