Like many women, How To Behave host Barbie Ferreira finds asking for money totally uncomfortable—but that doesn't mean she's not willing to go outside her comfort zone. In this episode of How To Behave, Barbie meets with a financial advisor and a financial dominatrix to learn how women can ask for the money we deserve.
First, she heads to Business Insider where she sits down with Lauren Lyons Cole, a financial advisor and money editor, who teaches her how to ask for a raise. "Be realistic, plus like five to ten percent extra," says Lyons Cole. "Because for a lot of women, what we think is realistic is not actually as much as you could possibly get." She also suggests talking about asking for a raise with other people. "[Money] is like sex," she says. "At the end of the day, people like talking about it."
Next Barbie tries a raise negotiation role-play with Lyons Cole acting as her boss—and a tough one at that. While Lyons Cole appreciates that Barbie comes to the negotiation with notes, she advises her to watch her tone when she's negotiating a salary IRL, and suggests she opt for one that's collaborative rather than defensive.
After saying bye to Lyons Cole, Barbie meets with someone who doesn't have to answer to a boss: financial dominatrix Mistress Thick. Barbie watches as one of Mistress Thick's subs sends her 100 dollars with the message "Thank you for allowing me to serve," to which she replies, "Good job, bitch. Send more."
"I'm making it very clear I know my worth," Mistress Thick explains. "As women we're so used to compromising. We have to set our terms and make men meet us on our terms."
May we all walk through the world with that same energy.