The world is full of worthless junk to spend your money on, and now Urban Outfitters has dutifully delivered one more option, if you're in the market. The clothing store is apparently selling a "Mystery VHS 5-Pack" of used movies—all for the low, low price of $40.
"Set of five iconic, assorted ‘90s comedy flicks on VHS tape, curated by Studiohouse Designs exclusively for Urban Outfitters," the web description for the box set reads. "Each set is unique, iconic and will vary from what is pictured here. Don’t worry - there are no duds in this batch!"
There aren't just VHS comedies for sale, either. Urban Outfitters is also selling mystery packs of horror movies, rom-coms, and sci-fi tapes, all for the same $40 price tag. The site makes the same "no duds" guarantee for all the mystery packs, regardless of genre. For what it's worth, the sample rom-com pack includes such romantic touchstones as Shallow Hal and Superstar, and the 90s comedy one includes two movies from the 1980s, so take that promise as you will.
But wait a second, you say. They don't tell you what movies come in the five pack? It's just a random box of old tapes? Yes! And that's the magic of it!
To fully understand the wonder of Urban Outfitters' VHS set, you must think back on another staple of 1990s youth: the Pokémon booster pack. Wasn't the real excitement of the booster pack the mystery of it all? You tore into that thing not knowing if you'd come out the other side with a holographic Blastoise or another wack-ass Magmar and some goddamn energy cards. You were buying the gamble. You were buying the thrill of discovery.
This mystery box is exactly like that—except, uh, with someone's used and probably wonky VHS tapes instead of Pokémon cards. And with a $40 price tag. Get it?
So if you have some disposable income and don't feel like taking a trip to your nearest Goodwill and digging through the VHS bin, by all means—head on over to Urban Outfitters and ball the fuck out. Or, you know, just don't. Up to you.
The lesson here is clear: You should've hung onto those VHS tapes of Bicentennial Man and Joe Dirt. Little did you know that those heinously shitty movies you watched once and then stuck on a shelf to gather dust until they inadvertently melted one summer were actually long-term investments. Just wait until Urban Outfitters starts selling copies of Animorphs for $30 a pop. You'll really be kicking yourself then.
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