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Astro Guide

Cancers Secretly Want to Get Stoned with Their Family Members

This sign is happiest getting high with the ones they love.

by Sophie Saint Thomas
Apr 16 2018, 4:57pm

We consulted astrologers on how each sign can get as high as the stars. Read about the other signs here.

Cancers love the home and having family around. When it comes to weed, that means they’re the ones with a crew—and the ones feeding the crew homemade weed cookies. Cancers love to cook, and are good at it, too. Don’t let their comfy sweaters and puppy dogs fool you. Like all emotive water signs, Cancers have their dark side. They will do anything to protect their shell, so enemies beware. Never steal drugs from a Cancer.

But if a Cancer loves you, if you’re part of their family, their weed becomes your weed, and they’ll protect you at all costs. "If you are invited to smoke with these hermit crabs consider yourself a part of their pack," astrologer Caitlin McGarry says.

If a Cancer hasn’t blazed with their actual family members yet, it’s on their bucket list. "They want to smoke pot with their family. If it's something they haven't done yet, it's something they set out to do at one point in their life," horoscope writer Randon Rosenbohm says. However, don’t let their love of home fool you—Cancers love to party. (The most infamous Cancer is Lindsay Lohan.) When Cancers are severed from their family—blood or chosen—they may overindulge to cope with inner turmoil.

Sometimes they like to be sneaky about their consumption methods; Cancers don’t like others knowing about their motives. With so many friends and family members, Cancers have plenty of other people to blame for their desire to get stoned. "Cancers walk sideways, so they like to pick up a contact high. They always like to go on their high horse and say, ‘I had a weed cookie, and I didn’t know there was weed in it,’" Stardust says. Crabs live on land and in sea, so Cancers are adaptable in their consumption methods. Whether you pass them a bag of gummies or a vape pen, they’re in. It’s not that Cancer people don’t have their own distinct tastes, it’s just that they have the best time when they know the people they care about are enjoying themselves, too.

Stoner Superlative: Most likely to feed their mom a weed cookie

Best Strain: Granddaddy Purple (merry Indica)

Worst Strain: Jack the Ripper (intense Sativa)

Best Way to Get High: A homemade edible

Best High Activity: Build a bonfire and smoke up with their closest friends

Recommended Product: Levo Oil Infuser