Food by VICE

This Week in Food Porn: Chinese New Year Special

Grab yourselves a hot pot and take a scroll through the best Chinese New Year food uploaded to Instagram this week.

by Nell Frizzell
Jan 28 2017, 10:00pm

Photo via Flickr user Wally Gobetz

Flip the page on your lunisolar calendar kids, it's Chinese New Year!

And not just any old Spring Festival of fireworks, cleaning, or red paper envelopes—heck no. For this year, we are entering the anniversary of the rooster. I imagine Mick Jagger will be thrilled to hear that foot-scraping, stomping, head-bobbing, and rasping out a well-known warble is now emblematic of our new mark on the calendar.

So, grab yourselves a hot pot and take a scroll through the best Chinese New Year food uploaded to Instagram this week.

And, in the words of taxi drivers everywhere, be lucky.

Forget everything you know about the Reunion Dinner. Throw it in the bin and start again. In fact, grab yourself a boiled egg, some coriander and an almost-medical love of life because, this year kids, we're going to make an edible masque. A mangible drama. A food thriller: two chickens doing Jean-Claude Van Damme kicks in the air, overlooked by a giant egg in a red heart crown that looks like it's trying to cop a feel. It's so perfect I don't know why we hadn't thought of it already.

Sometimes a plate of prawns looks like a plate of prawns, and sometimes a plate of prawns looks like a hot sticky swimming number from a Busby Berkeley musical.

My little dumplings

A photo posted by Dumpling Dumpling (@dumplingx2) on

"Hey Paul, did you order a hundredweight of pork-stuffed moon units?" "Uuuurrhh, maybe?" "And did you then lie them out across my duvet while you tried to find enough butane for the grill?" "Uuuurrrhh, maybe?" "And did you take a selfie of you holding one like a tiny mobile phone and text it to Matt from work?" "Uuuurrrhhm, maybe?" "Paul, do you enjoy being an adult?" "Uuuurrrrnnn, maybe?"

Someone swipe an X on my map because, lads, I think I just found the spot. That's right, we're talking about a savoury cake. A gelatinous, semi-glazed, vaguely shrimp-ish cake covered in globules of mysterious red and grey matter. Precious!

「 長肉的小年夜與一盒稻香村」

A photo posted by Keywii Sung (@teenstigercat) on

Anyone for a game of Tetris? I bought my 'boy and plenty 'o batteries.

My recipe for the #SweetLunarNewYear party is on the blog! Snow Fungus Soup is considered a longevity tonic in traditional Chinese medicine and believed to be a magic food for the skin. It's really easy to make and I've provided notes to help you get to know the ingredients. . . . And don't miss the other sweet festive recipes from my blogger friends: @whattocooktoday @wokandskillet @atasteofjoyandlove @gritsandchopsticks @littlesweetbaker @brunchnbites @missinglokness @whatggmaate @annlow3663 @6etty @jeanetteshealthyliving @gina.chong @rotinrice @malaysianchinesekitchen @dailycookingquest @vforveggy @butterandtype @thevietvegan @thirstyfortea @kimchimari @lisas_lemonykitchen @omnivorescookbook @plantcrush @anitachu @nutfreewok @limeandcilantro . . . #lunarnewyear #lunarnewyearparty #lunarnewyear2017 #chinesenewyear #chinesenewyearparty #chinesenewyear2017 #chinesenewyearfood #chinesefood #chinesefoodlover #asianfood #asianfoodlover #snowfungus #traditionalchinesemedicine #traditionalchinesefood #tongsui

A photo posted by vermilionroots (@vermilionroots) on

Mmm mmm! Did somebody say "slow fungus"? Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy—are we in for a treat. A bowl of sweet wet fungus covered in small deflated balloons and a very pale Pac Man. Roll on midnight!

I can't wait to see what happens when Luli's new boyfriend tries to eat the pot plants and paper decoration at dinner. And Li Jie has to slide across the table in his pleather jeggings to try and pull it out of his jugular like a magician brandishing a white rabbit.

"Jack, I want you to draw me like one of your traditional jellyfish-looking sponge cakes. Wearing this [gestures towards a small plastic screw-lid jar]. And only this ... "

I think we can all get behind a "prosperity toss," don't you? And so, let's celebrate both new year and the Chinese diaspora in Singapore and Malaysia with some shredded raw fish, some salad, and a sassy wrist flick.

Just say it like you see it, babe. Say it like you see it.

Tagged:
Munchies
Food
Chinese food
Eat
food styling
This Week in Food Porn