Food by VICE

This Week in Food Porn: Mac and Cheese and Muesli

Here are some excellent photos of nice food uploaded to Instagram this week, accompanied by inane comments. It literally is that simple.

by Nell Frizzell
Nov 26 2016, 10:00pm

What is this life if full of care? We have no time to stand and stare. No time to stand beneath the boughs and stare as long as sheep or cows. No time to eat, when plates we pass, or where children hide their nuts in grass. No time to feast in broad daylight, not swill out a glass at the fall of night. A poor life this, if full of care. So fill your forks and grab the bread to tear.

Here are some excellent photos of nice food uploaded to Instagram this week, accompanied by inane comments. It literally is that simple.

today's fuel

A photo posted by M.J. ➰ The M.J. Elle (@themjelle) on

In most of my holiday photos, I look like a crumb-flecked roll of ham, pushed onto a small piece of farming equipment. Like a meat-wrapped rear axle, if you will. I certainly look nothing like as photogenic as this bowl of fibre. But then again, I bet this breakfast never snogged a Turkish Elvis lookalike up against a wall to the strains of Holly Valance, either.

What's your fav Thanksgiving side dish? MAC N CHEESE? From @cafeterianyc #Brunchboys

A photo posted by Brunch Boys-NYC Food Lifestyle (@brunchboys) on

I have been to town and I have, for what it's worth, ridden on a pony. I doubtless at some regrettable stage of my student life stuck a feather in my hat but, my lords, ladies, and gentlemen, I can hereby swear with absolute certainty that I never, not ever, called it macaroni.

In the words of my estimable friend and American amour Kit Lovelace, there is no place in a just and humane world for Jell-O salad. Thankfully, there are one or two other ingredients involved in the States' most mystifying and politically questionable eating holiday.

Never has the sour looked quite so sweet. Nor have I ever felt quite so miserable while chewing on a piece of peanut butter toast, next to a pile of brown leaves, watching a cat piss up against a brick wall. Still, we can't live in the internet all the time.

Here is an artist's impression of my ever hangover since the age of about 27. My body may not be a temple, but it's certainly seen a lot of men on their knees, whispering desperate prayers.

Da beautiful turkey in all off its dead greatness!! #turkey #thanksgiving #thankful #raw #stuffing #food #foodporn #legit

A photo posted by Carsyn Naylor (@carsyn_naylor) on

I mean, it's nobody's most flattering angle. But she could have at least brushed her teeth.

Keen to try something out of the norm, but not bursting your budget? Peruvian food is befitting, one Michelin Stardining! You're looking at an eye-catching Sea Bream Ceviche StarterGlaring back is raw chunks of sea bream freshly marinated in traditional tiger's milk......... Sounds amazing, taste like wise!!! . . . Price: £19.50 for a 3 course Pre-Theatre menu Rating: 7/10 Verdict: We were pleasantly surprised by the flavours of Peru service was great, very casual dining! Fun fact: It's a glimpse of what world No. 4 Central's chef Martinez has to offer! Lima is his only creation in London with a Michelin Star . . #topcitybites #londonfoodie #london #eat #foodpornshare #dinner #michelin #michelinstar #igfoodie #igfood #igfoodporn #foodporn #foodforthought #foodphotography #foodpics #starter #timeoutlondon #londonfoodguide #foodiegram #foodiesofinsta

A photo posted by Keanue/Denise (@goodfoodwithkeanise) on

There's nothing quite so magical as an adult's genuine impulse to disguise a load of raw fish as five large fried eggs covered in bits of garden sweeping. What a charming life they must lead.

Who would have thought that heady danger, the free drugs, the wild open air rave movement of the 1990s would eventually crumble to this—to a tray of sugar-coated novelty doughnuts on a sheet of greaseproof paper as blank as the dilated pupil of a Mancunian pill-popping shop assistant.

Ah, Autumn. Yet again you've filled all fruit with ripeness to the core—you've swollen the gourd, and plumped the hazel shells with a sweet kernel. And so, as a thank you, we will rip out your heart and spread its flesh across a blind-baked pastry base.

I'm having dinner with a pal who prefers their knife and fork this way around. It's freaking me out.

A photo posted by Rhodri Marsden (@rhodri) on

I'm all for tolerance, diversity, empathy, compassion, care, understanding, respect, and forebearance but, this … this has gone too far.