Who the hell needs Easter eggs when you can have Kinder Surprise eggs? After all, Kinder Surprises give you a toy inside a chocolate shell.
Unfortunately for Americans, Kinder eggs are banned in the US—the small, plastic toy within is considered a potential choking hazard for children. European children, however, can obstruct their airways and stuff their faces with chocolate eggs to their heart's content.
In news that probably won't help Kinder Surprises get approval stateside, a boy in Ireland got one hell of a surprise in a recent egg: a bag of methamphetamine.
The five-year-old was playing with his older brother in Limavady, Northern Ireland, when he found a Kinder Surprise egg hidden in a hedge, according to Metro. The child proceeded to open up the egg, but where there would typically be a toy, the child found a bag of white, crystallized powder. Luckily, he immediately passed over the bag to his father, who turned the bag over to police.
"The contents of the bag, which was found inside a toy egg, is believed to be methamphetamine," Inspector Colin Shaw said on Facebook. "This small quantity of drugs will be disposed of by police.
"This incident is of the uppermost concern for all of us. Tackling the use and supply of illegal drugs is a priority for us and the possibility that something so potentially dangerous has been discarded where children could find it is deeply concerning."
Alan Robinson, a local politician, commented, "As a father of a child, I know how enticing Kinder eggs and their contents are to children." Thankfully, most kids aren't into hard uppers at age five.
The incident brings to mind the frenzied scares of Halloweens past, when parents and media alike warned of poisoned candy or razor blades lurking in candy bowls. Those stories, by the way, have largely been debunked, but the meth Kinder egg isn't the only unfortunate showing for tampered-with Kinder eggs in the news lately.
A few weeks ago, a man was arrested in Gloucester, England, for possession of a Kinder egg stuffed with crack and heroin, along with other drugs. He was arrested and charged with intent to distribute.
So maybe we just aren't ready for the Kinder Surprise in America for a number of reasons. But if people keep cramming them full of drugs, it will most likely be some time before we have the opportunity to know the exquisite anticipation of a chocolate surprise.