The Spokane, Washington sports scene is riding high at the moment thanks to the success of the Gonzaga University men's basketball team, but sometimes all it takes to dampen the civic mood is a single high school football coach sticking his dick into a hot dog bun and showing it to his players.
Such is the case at Ferris High School, where Jim Sharkey has been suspended pending an investigation into claims the coach exposed himself to players at a leadership camp last summer.
"A couple of weeks after the camp, a Ferris player came forward and said that while Sharkey was grilling, he turned with his exposed penis inside a hot dog bun. Sharkey said, "You think that is a big dog – take a look at this," according to school records that listed multiple different versions of the same quote.
"While the coach got a written reprimand and was allowed to coach this past fall, school officials placed him on administrative leave Feb. 1 after more players claimed to have seen the hot dog incident and other students brought up separate incidents of questionable behavior by the 11-year teacher and coach."
So for those of you scoring at home, the administration policy is as follows:
- One student alleging a coach showed off his dick in a hot dog bun = written reprimand.
- Two or more alleging a coach showed off his dick in a hot dog bun = suspension.
Another student, a girl, also came forward to claim that Sharkey called her a "puck slut" or "puck bunny," because she was friends with local hockey players.
Another football player claimed that he knew of "four or five" instances of what the players referred to as "juicing"—teammates ganging up on a player and sticking fingers in his anus on his birthday—but stressed that no coaches were around during the incidents.
Sharkey has denied the hot dog allegations, calling it "a witch hunt." He did admit to calling the girl a puck bunny, with a caveat: "I think some of this stuff is taken out of context, but I did say these things."
The lesson here is to stop putting things where they don't belong, like penises in hot dog buns, or guys like this in charge of teenagers.