Munchies

The MUNCHIES Guide to Drinking in Public This Summer

You're outside, it's hot, you're doing something fun, and you want to get sloshed without getting arrested. Here's how.

by Munchies Staff
Jun 23 2016, 1:00pm


Oh man, it's a scorcher.

You're not going to spend this most sweltering of summer days indoors, playing and hand-sewing voodoo dolls of your haters. No way in hell—you're going out in public, dammit, and you're going to do something fun as fuck!
World of Warcraft

But naturally, you also want to get drunk. And the only problem with drinking in the summer is that you're often in public in non-bar settings, and technically-y-y it's illegal to design your own booze cruise without being properly ID'd and served.

Unless, that is, you're crafty. Behold, the MUNCHIES Guide to Drinking in Public.

Say you're on the beach and not trying to get rolled up on by the po-po. Whip up one (or seven) of our piña coladas and tactfully disguise it in a thermos. Why, officer, this is coconut gazpacho!

Headed to the park? Finish off that jug of Minute Maid and do your part to recycle, reduce, and reuse by refilling the jug with chardonnay. Mmm, this lemonade tastes like fermented grapes.

The county fair is a little bit trickier if you're trying to forgo the decrepit beer garden full of weird uncles with shriveled tattoos of mermaids. May we recommend a fake colostomy bag filled with tequila? (Don't worry—they'll assume it's urine and be afraid to touch it. Plus, you can use it as an excuse to cut the line for the Gravitron!)

And if you're with your parents, you might want to try to get your hands on some Palcohol. Add it to the smoothies that you get from the hotel bar in Orlando and just shrug and say it's protein powder. And please, share with Grandma.

Bottoms up, friends. Summer vacation just isn't complete without some cheap thrills.

Disclaimer: The staff of MUNCHIES does not encourage its readers to partake in illegal activity of any kind. Ever. We are extremely responsible always and you should be, too.