Have You Ever Betrayed Anyone?

Betrayal, it's part of our lives. If Judas hadn't snitched on Jesus, he would have got off scot-free. And where would that have left us? Without the basis upon which all Christianity is based (ie guilt).

Without betrayal in business and politics, business and politics wouldn't be business and politics, and where would that leave us? Without broadsheet newspapers. I could go on, but you're probably already bored, so let's find out what the general populace thinks about the dark side of human nature.

The question is, have you ever betrayed someone?

Rob, 41: No. You have never betrayed anyone in your whole life?
No. Do you think there is any situation in which betrayal is warranted?
I might have some revenge stories to tell, yeah. But revenge is understandable, whereas betrayal is just outright… naughty.

Gabrielle, 20: I’ve betrayed loads of people, hahahahahahahahaha! Are you recording this? Yeah.
Do I get a second trial? No. Do you think betrayal is cool?
Yeah, betrayal is fine, you have to cover your own back. Do you think loyalty and similar old-world values have any place in modern society?
C'mon, stop being so naive, people are getting betrayed all over the place. It's just hidden. Everyone is in their own secret little bubble. I think everyone is like that, especially in London, anyway. Everyone is fighting to live. Do you remember a recent betrayal?
Well, my mum has just turned lesbian after a 25-year relationship and she has a medical condition, which my dad is using against her to make her lose her job. So I have now got to stand up and defend my mum against my dad so she doesn’t lose her job. If my mum doesn’t have a job, who am I going to turn to if I’m in trouble? Was that an easy decision to make?
No, it was hard, because I’m close to both of them. But my dad is trying to get one up on my mum and the only ones who are going to lose out are me, my mum and my brother, not my dad. So I’m betraying my dad in a good way. Aaron, 26: I think it’s quite likely. I just asked a guy and he was adamant that he had never betrayed anyone in his entire life.
Oh, I’m pretty sure he has betrayed someone – his mother, his father, maybe his friend unknowingly. Betrayal is going against a commitment someone has committed you to, and it could be something as meagre as buying the wrong brand of cheese, or a betrayal to yourself by eating meat if you’re a vegetarian. I never classed getting the wrong brand of cheese as betrayal.
I think most of us are traitors, we just don’t want to admit it. In your mind, did the person you betray deserve it?
I don’t have any remorse for it, so I guess my betrayal was justified. It’s not at the forefront of my mind and I don’t feel bad, so I suppose it can’t have been that bad.

Either that or you're a sociopath, I guess. Tom, 27: Yes. Do you betray people on a daily basis?
We all go through that stage in life where we are arseholes to each other. Like what?
I’ve cheated on girlfriends and stuff. I felt bad afterwards. Was it justified?
No, unless you love someone more than someone else, you have got to split allegiance. It's bad, because you don’t want to hurt that person's feelings, but that’s life.

Tom, 33: Oh yeah. Do you remember the last time?
I haven’t done anything recently, but the one that has affected me the most is when I went to meet my real dad without telling my mum. So you felt like you betrayed your mum?
And my stepdad. I saw him once and then never saw him again. Do you think we deal with betrayal a lot in our everyday lives?
More than we realise. Other people’s needs come up against other people’s needs and you end up with people betraying people. Amber, 24 (left) and Susie, 25. Amber: Yes.
Susie: No.
Amber: She can’t do it, she too nice of a person. What happened?
My best friend broke up with her boyfriend, and another best friend starting dating said boyfriend, and I hid it from my other best friend. At least you didn't sleep with him.
I didn’t want to hurt my friend’s feelings and if she'd found out, it would have really hurt her. They weren’t in a fully-formed relationship and I wasn’t prepared to inform my friend until they were. I was trying to help my friend, but it did really harm our friendship, ultimately. So, Susie, you've never betrayed anyone?
Susie: I mean, we all say little white lies now and again, but betrayal is a big thing, man. You've never betrayed you parents?
Well maybe, there might have been one time when I kept a relationship I was in from my parents because I didn’t think they would approve. It was more because I didn’t want to upset them, but once it was out in the open, it was fine. Have you ever betrayed someone in a relationship?
No, I’m pretty good with that, I’m the one who is usually betrayed to be honest. You’re either the betrayed or the betrayer, aren't you? Previously - How Should Racists Be Punished?