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The Recent Unpleasentness - Sheriff Joe Tweets

We collected the best tweets from computer-illiterate sheriff and xenophobic baked potato Joe Arpaio.

by Sam McPheeters
Jul 20 2012, 3:09pm

From the Phoenix New Times:

“​It's no secret that Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio doesn't know how to use a computer. It's also obvious that he uses "ghost Tweeters" to update his Twitter page. But to have his minions (under the guise of being Arpaio) brag about his computer illiteracy in a forum that can only be accessed by a computer has us laughing this afternoon.”

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Just instructed my “minions” to arrest the entire staff of the Phoenix New Times. #tweet

Thx 2 all who made our 2012 Maricopa County chili cookoff and Convicted Felon Organ Harvest such a success this year.

Week 1 of my @TheJusticeDept trial for “racial profiling”. How can I be racially profiling if mexico isnt even a race?! #logic

A “journalist” once called me a publicity hound. He’s doing 10-15 on an unpaid parking ticket. Saw him Tuesday in the infirmary. Nice guy.

Just held press conference where I declared Obama birth certificate a sham. Congress, do your stuff. #slamdunk

I set up a kickstarter to get that electric fence built between AZ & CA. Pledge $80k+ and get a free prisoner “servant”. #zap

What kind of a word is “Maricopa”? Sounds like an eye disease. Maricopa.

DOJ lawsuit against me is just liberal smokescreen 2 distract from my possible veep nod. AZ = 10 electoral votes! #think #romney #callme

george lopez, every time u diss me i make my prisoners perform 1 song from “rent” in the hot sun. keep going, funny man.

BS Obama birth certificate bigger scandal than Lewinskygate, Watergate, Weinergate, and WW2 combined. Media? Hello?

.@mexicandrugcartels: ¡we keep trying and trying to kill Mr. Arpaio but he is always outsmart us!

if obama birth certificate a fraud then eric holder isn’t attny gen & DOJ lawsuit an illusion & i get apology cake #casedismissed

How amazing would it be if The Donald was POTUS right now? He’d take 1 look @ phony baloney Obama birth certificate & say “your fired”! :)

Checked in on the Phoenix New Times staff holding pen. Funny, I remember there being a few more of them yesterday.

Check yr 8th amendment people – says nothing about playing Yello’s “Oh Yeah” 24/7 in my jails! #constitution

Hey @BarackObama come down here and say it to my face!

Still angry they took “Jericho” off the air. Ordered a countywide lockdown and felt better.

America’s toughest sheriff and America’s prettiest governor. Reality show? #arizona

When’s my TED talk?

If I’m such a publicity hound, how come Obama refuses to release his real birth certificate from Zimbabwe!?!

Can’t tell if these pro-Mexico demonstrators are boys or girls! Most of them are high on goofballs! #calltheSPCA #laughs #fun

me and @realDonaldTrump agree: green card program is backdoor amnesty

Went out to visit some of the chain gang boys in 119 heat and offered them some of my world-famous Arpaio chili. No takers. #typical

Leaving 4 National Sheriffs' Association conference in Nashville. Don’t forget 2 spay and neuter yr prisoners :)

fuck i <3 nickleback

Come join me @ 4PM for the ribbon cutting on the new Sonoran Desert Illegal Persons Dunk Tank. Bring tomatoes #andID

Heard some of the Phoenix New Times gang caught a bad case of maricopa in the dungeon (jk its tb)

Lawyer says I can’t tweet the word “dungeon”. Let’s see how he likes 30 days in the Hole. #eggheads

sent my deputies 2 arrest obama

Donate $100 to my legal defense fund & get jar of my award-winning Arpaio chili. I’ll never tell the secret ingredient! #rhymeswith“drisoners”

Previously - Mitt's Box Office Problem

@SamMcPheeters