Twitter is no place for a golf clap. These Twitter streets are mean as hell, and you best not step with some watered-down-ass-sauce. (Nuclear warfare is literally being waged on Twitter nowadays.) But Golf Twitter seems to be bringing some grandpa-pants shit talk, as exhibited by Tiger Woods and Phil Mickelson.
Wednesday was a momentous day for Mickelson on the Twitters: he joined up. The man seemed to be getting a decent start too with this opening tweet. Winking gif and all:
Not bad for the 48-year-old guy who looks like the uncle you easily forget about at the family reunion. Anyway, you'd be excited to think that this was just some kind of Mickelson-incentivized decision to join the rest of the festering internet universe, but it seems that some PR was afoot.
Cue: Tiger Woods.
So the two announced their big-money match over Thanksgiving Weekend, with some kind of MMA-like graphics to talk it up, via Tiger's account:
"It's on." Good one, Tiger. Really sent a shot over the bow there. But wait until you get a load of this knee-slapper Phil is serving up:
An emoji?! What a hoot! Uh oh, it's getting (flames) up in here. But wait for it. Tiger's got some pepper for the man:
Ohhhhh, damn? I mean, actually, damn. What the fuck is this? No seriously, what the fuck is this weak-ass shit happening on my timeline?
Oh God. This whole exchange should just roll over and die.
Well, if anything follows out like the graphic in Tiger's tweet, Tiger will be attempting to beat Mickelson left-handed for some reason. (Who runs this PR photoshop? [They even inverted the Nike swoosh to make him left handed—weird.]) Tiger taking on Mickelson southpaw might be the spiciest thing about Golf Twitter right now. Yawn.